Dia Zerva; curiosity and sexual discovery

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FRISK ME TRAILER

FRISK ME - We are under surveillance. And it’s so terrifying that it becomes… titillating. Step into a fantasy world where hand-cuffs and interrogation are simply foreplay. Where night sticks become sex toys, where Orwellian policing becomes protocol and a window for voyeuristic desires to be satiated. Where TSA agents do cavity searches that will have you screaming out in orgasms and begging the words “Frisk Me.” We are reclaiming terror and cultivating pleasure with anal orgasms, female ejaculation, blow jobs, hot dripping wet sex, and BDSM. So what are you waiting for? Aren’t you going to Frisk Me?

Fluid

There are lots of words that resonate with my identity. With how I personally identify. Very rarely do I feel like I fit perfectly into any one label. My life always seems to need an explanation, a discourse, a full on hand book for people to really understand who I am.

Some of the words that I recognize as part of my identity are queer, kinky, submissive, feminist, sex positive, sensation slut, rope slut, slut, whore, activist, spaniel, artist and vegan.

But I have been challenged in all areas of my identity at different points in my life. Being told usually that I will some how grow out of the way that I identify. Being told that participating in mainstream media means I'm not radical enough to be an activist. Being told that no feminist could also identify as a slut or participate in porn and feminists most definitely are not submissive. I've been told that I can no longer identify as queer by both people in the "straight community" and "queer community" because my primary partner is a cisgendered man. And I've recently been told that I'm no longer vegan because my dominant cisgendered boyfriend bought me a pair of leather boots for my birthday.

First of all, I think its important to remember that everyone has their own ideas and definitions of what identity means to them. These are my opinions and how I have come to know myself and who I am, not any concrete definition. I don't do well with constraint only bondage :)

I believe that identity, sexuality, gender is fluid. It is constantly moving. That we are balls of energy. Some of us are filled or cultivate more erotic energy than others. I'm attracted to the energy of people of all genders. When it comes to purely physical attraction of someone in a magazine or on the internet, where it is more difficult to read energies, I've primarily been attracted to women bodied individuals and persons that read as queer. But when it comes to people in person I'm attracted to people of all genders. I've had relationships with women and gender variant individuals my entire life and have also had relationships with cisgendered men along the way. I'm in an amazing relationship with a cisgendered man, Mr Mogul, who I'm incredibly in love with and that I've been in a relationship with for the last 4 years. Mr Mogul is incredibly respectful and understanding of my queer identity and supports my having relationships outside of our primary relationship with people of all gender identities. I actually just shot an amazing docu/porn for Good Vibrations this past saturday in which we interviewed women who identify as queer, bi, and pansexual and then we filmed some very hot sex scenes with them engaging with women and men. It was really fascinating to see how people identify and how their environment growing up helped to shape different ideas and identities and affinities toward certain words or labels that seemed to best fit who they are.

Recently on twitter I mentioned that Mr Mogul bought me a pair of leather boots. This raised a bit of an outrage from a couple of vegans that couldn't believe that I had the audacity to call myself a vegan and advocate the oppression of animals.

So.. I don't advocate the oppression of animals. I have been vegetarian for 11 years and vegan for 8. I think it was maybe the first 3 years that I was very hard core about my political decision to be vegan. I didn't eat out, I didn't eat on the same dishes as non vegans, I didn't date non-vegans, I didn't wear any animal products.

The reason I became vegan is my disgust in factory farming and the United States greed fueling the oppression and mistreatment of animals. We seem to have this deep desire to consume and throw away. We no longer have any connection to our food. We don't pick our vegetables, we don't know where the meat that we eat comes from or even what animal it came from half the time. Where I grew up in Ohio there were small family farms. We could actually buy milk from Young's dairy. My dad and uncles would hunt deer that he would feed on all winter long. He was connected to his food and he honored the animal that it came from. I know I'm as white as can be, but my grandfather was a quarter Native American and my family still practiced Native American hunting rituals. My Dad actually didn't go to church on sundays with us growing up. Instead he went hunting. He said that when he was in the woods hunting that he felt closest to God. I'm not a very religious person but I do strongly believe in a sense of spirituality.

For me I discovered my spiritual self through bondage, ds, service. These are meditative and transcendental practices for me in which I'm able to free myself from my body or use my body as a reed or vessel for energy to flow into and out of using breath. Bdsm is a way in which I'm able to honor my partner, myself, my community and the earth's energy.

Leather is very strong symbolically with in the "Leather and Bdsm Community". It is precious, it is earned, it is honored. Leather is an organic material, natural. An animal's life was taken in order to produce this material. It is a sacred, leather. It is used for ceremonies such as collaring or the earning of leather. When I am gifted with a pair of leather boots from my dominant:

1. This is a gift that I am being honored with and that I will treasure for years. They will not be disposed of. I'm aware of an honor where they came from.

2. I'm not personally fiscally engaging in the capitalizing of animals, as I did not purchase them they were gifted to me. Freegans that I grew up with held their ethics around veganism close to where you spent your money. If there were leather shoes in the free box or someone gave them a back pack that had a leather label on it or something they would accept it. It was a reused or gifted item.

3. We must all choose our personal battles. I have a lot of amazing activist friends that are not vegan or vegetarian but they are enlightening people about sexuality, gender, feminism, sex positive politics, etc. There are a lot of amazing people out there that aren't veggie. And I've met vegans who are sexist or that work for major corporations with disgusting politics, does it make them a good vegan as long as they don't wear leather? Do all of the people that are condemning my boots use soy ink in their pens? Do you shop in markets that also sell meat? Do you employee others that consume meat or leather? Unless we go live on a farm and completely disengage from the government and refuse to participate in the capitalism in America all together then you will be engaging on some level with the suffering of animals. We can make our personal decisions of where our ethical line is and what we are comfortable with and what fights we are capable of fighting.

I purchase vegan shoes, vegan belts, etc. I'm not a mass consumer of leather products. I'm not a consumer of leather at all but I will wear it. The food choices that I engage in reflect my political views on the factory farming industry. I don't eat meat of any kind, no chicken, no fish, no cheese, no dairy. The closest word that exist for what I am is vegan. Maybe because I wear leather and that is frowned upon I'd be considered a queer vegan. Maybe because the reasons I wear the leather are kinky I'm a kinky queer vegan. So I'm a kinky queer vegan that wears leather boots and loves to suck cock.

There are some amazing vegan online bdsm boutiques like veganerotica.com. I'm buying some vegan leather from them for reupholstering some furniture at the gallery. Also Moo Shoes in NYC and Otsu in SF are great for vegan leather goods like shoes and belts. I don't think that it is wrong to use vegan leather. I'm simply explain my more complex side to my identity and my food and lifestyle choices. Very few things in life are black and white. I think things are much more complicated and fluid than that.

Feminists for Facials

So Bitch Magazine posted a rather anti-spooj anti-porn article and I posted a comment but it looks like it is up for approval.  In the meantime I thought I'd post it on my blog where we are Feminist for Facials.  

Here is the direct link to the article:Anti-Porn Bitch Magazine Article

What Madison ( A Feminist for Facials) has to say: - excuse the lack of paragraphs it is a rant :)

 I feel like I read a lot of so called feminist articles on the evils of porn that are most likely written by people who don't even watch a lot of porn.  Porn can be feminist.  Porn can be educational, inspire couples, save sex lives, undo some of the sexual repression and body image issues that women grow up with, document our sexual culture, capture chemistry, create visibility for alternative sexual beings, create connection and dialogue around sex between partners, create connection and reduce isolation around fetishes.  I have heard from numerous women who write me telling me that they have wanted to explore being submissive or bdsm for years but they felt that it somehow went against their feminist beliefs but after watching my work it was evident that there was a sense of empowerment, connection and energy exchange happening between me and my partners.  I've also had women say that my work inspired them to become active in their sex positive community, that my work saved their sex life with their partner and inspired new sexual explorations.  I've had these comments from people who identify as queer and as straight.  Porn is a powerful medium.  It shows vulnerability and empowerment as well as connection and release.  There is a rise of feminist and queer porn producers such as myself, Courtney Trouble, and Shine Louise Houston.  For us this is not just a living but is a form of activism and is reflection of our community.  There are plenty of queers and non-queer women who enjoy messy sex and enjoy female ejaculate, male ejaculate, piss and other fluids.  This is an intimate sexual play to be fluid bonded.  And to me it exhibits not an act of degradation but a deep hunger  and lust for your partner that is so great that you want to swallow all of them, including their cum which is a physical manifestation of this persons release of pleasure.  Why wouldn't you want to gobble that up?  Why wouldn't you want to have that closeness with your partner?  Because of  possibly getting some in your hair?   When I am having sex with someone I love or someone I'm hot for I am not thinking about my hair.  This connection has nothing to do with porn.  People have desires for different kinds of sex.  Porn is a vast medium.  We can't say that all advertisements make us want to have sex in a certain way or that all movies make us attracted to a certain kind of person.  Our sexuality is innate, animalistic and porn can often help to guide or inspire or document our sexual desires.  Porn Stars are strong,independent, sexually aware, confident warriors.  We are artists.  We are activists.  We are educators.  We are fearless.  Why shouldn't we be heroes?  I wish when I was 15 that I had exposure to the sex positive adult actresses who are writing about sex and art.  Don't we want women to grow up with a sense of ownership over their sexuality?  In no way do I think that persons who are underage should view porn but if they are aware of a sexually confident strong business woman or an activist as a media figure in the mainstream, I don't think that is giving the wrong impression of sex to young women.  I think it is teaching them to be fearless.

Delving Deep with Dylan Ryan

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Silky Smooth Vibrations by Madison Young

It's 10am and I'm sipping on my nice warm cup of Yerba Mate Tea and staring at the beautiful blue swirling (and vibrating) silicone goodness known as the G - Twist. I have a couple of hours until my new video editor will be over to the house to start work on my newest Madison Young Production and I really want to give this new vibe a try. So I turned my I Phone on shuffle, plugged in the speakers, popped in the batteries and were off.

This is a great toy. The first thing that really strikes me about this toy is that it is soft and flexible to the touch but it's also firm. It's a royal blue color so it seems fun but not funny like some of the vibrators that are shaped like creatures (ducks, rabbits, etc).

One of my favorite things about this toy is that it is made of this amazing silicone, easy to clean, safe and non porous material but it still allows me to use silicone based lube. Most silicone toys you can't use silicone lube with because it will bond to its self. But the G-Twist has come up with some super silicone formula that allows us silicone lovers to use our silicone lube.

I love the fact that the G- Twist is water resistant and that dust and dirt aren't clinging to the toy. Some of my silicone dildos attract hairs, dust, etc and it seems almost impossible to keep them clean. But this toy seems to actually repel dirt and fuzzies which makes me feel really safe and secure with this toy before we go all the way.

As many of you might know I'm a sensation slut. I love heavy sensation including vibration. My hitatchi is my favorite vibe and I love fucking machines and more vibration than most people can stand.

I've pretty much given up on anything having the strength of the hitatchi. But different environments call for different weaponry. I just returned from Europe with the Queer X Show and was separated from my dear hitatchi for 3 weeks. The electric currency is different in Europe and I had already blown one hitatchi on a previous trip to Europe a couple of years ago. I think the G- Twist will be my new best friend for travel. It won't get super dirty in my luggage, it cleans easy and operates on 2 AA batteries.

But does it get me off? Yes! Yes I got off twice in 15 minutes once in the family room and once in the bathroom. Dress hiked up and panties pulled down as I spread my legs on our Ikea couch. I listened to sticks against drum sets, against cymbals, squeaky voiced man/boys screaming of love lost as I was finding mine. The smooth silky texture of this vibrator felt amazing up against my labia and pressed against my clit as my legs stretched long and images of delicious climaxes of the recent past swept through my mind, as they always do before I'm about to cum. Quick fucks in the Lexington Club bathroom, cock ring tight around balls as I swallow cock whole, leaning out on the ledge of the rooftop as you fuck me in my new leather boots, salty flesh, sweet cunt, bitter cum, the taste of pleasure, as I reach climax.

The silkiness and texture of this vibrator is unlike any I have felt before. It's decadent.

I make my way to the bathroom, legs dangling in the tub as my legs spread. If I'm going to make a mess, the bathroom allows for easy clean up. The G - Twist feels really nice upon entry. I notice that I need a little more lube as the material of the vibe seems to soak it up. But it's very comfortable. Its a modest 6 inch vibrator maybe an inch and a half in diameter. This is usually much smaller than what I enjoy but this feels like a casual date and is probably perfect for penetration if you aren't a size queen or a sensation slut. I enjoyed the twists in the structure of the vibrator as I pumped in and out and the vibrator dialed on high. It felt great. My cunt clung on to the vibrator lightly kissing the silkiness of the vibe. It felt very romantic. as I made my way to my climax. This is a vibrator I trust. If this vibe were my date, it would show up clean, ready and would be on time for dinner with my parents. It's a dependable lover. These aren't the same 2 hour long multiple orgasms as what I would get with the hitatchi but it most certainly gets me off and is low maintenance and low drama which counts for a lot.

I didn't feel like the g-twist really did much for my g-spot. I feel like my g spot needs a firmer touch than what the g twist and I prefer something more solid like the N-Joy for g-spot stimulation. But the insides and outsides of my labia and clit love this vibe.

I also loved that it was ergonomic and easy to hold onto while masturbating. No hand cramps as your approaching orgasm with this toy. The dial is great for adjusting the vibe speed if you don't want your room mates to hear you or if you don't like a high vibration. It's very flexible and able to accommodate for varying needs. I'll be taking it with me in the shower tomorrow and maybe for a little anal expedition later this week.

Good luck and happy vibrations.
Madison Young

You can check out the G-Twist for yourself HERE

The Rising Phoenix - Sex, Sensuality and the lovely Satine.

Satine Phoenix is a beautiful and talented artist fetish model and adult performer living in LA. She is one of my favorite people to get hippy with in LA, swapping spirulina smoothie recipes and chatting about breath and the exchange of energy. She is a brilliant illustrator with a vibrant spirit and an unyielding sexual appetite. I'm proud to say that I was there the first time that she felt the hitatchi on her cunt and the first time that she ejaculated. I'm thrilled that she will be coming to San Francisco in a little over a week to do live erotic painting at my gallery for our bondage art salon, Art of Restraint, and the next day she will be performing in a film for Good Vibrations that I'm directing entitled, Frisk Me. This creative soul did me the great honor of allowing me to pick her brain on female empowerment in porn, bdsm, tantra, art and boundaries. Follow Satine's online 5 day slave training and sexual journey on Training of O or check out her very hot sm play session with Mistress Madeline on Whipped Ass.

Could you tell us a little bit about where you came from and how that aided in the development of the Satine Phoenix that we have all come to know and love?


Once upon a time there was a little girl named Satine who was fascinated with leather and latex in the movies and music videos she would watch on MTV. She received a pair of leather waisted black slacks at the age of 11 and this changed her life forever. From then on she would find any way possible to indulge in the more alternative and darker delicacies that fill her senses

I am fairly certain that I was born this way. People are just more inclined with one way of living or another. I had all of the opportunities to be a straight conservative upstanding citizen. I belonged to a youthgroup, got straight A's, President of my Drama Club, on Student Government, volunteered and raised money for various charities and yet I needed to learn all i could about BDSM & Fetishes. I knew when i was young that i wanted to be a Stripper. I knew that i would find a way to fulfil all of my fantasies. I KNEW that i could and that i didnt have to live in my dreams. My Dreams would become my reality. I became a demo model for Chanta Rose who guided me into this world of fetish modeling and pornography. From Sacramento to San Francisco to LA to Sydney, Australia and back again... its been quite a journey.

What is the root and origin of your name?

Satine: As in: my skin is soft as... I got it from two sources. The first is from the movie "Moulin Rouge" where Satine is the Sparkling Diamond. The second, and most true to my nature, is from a Kurt Vonnegut book "Bluebeard". Its a story of an artist and in the 70's he comes across a ficticious paint called Satine Duralux. After 18 years the paint falls off the canvas.

Phoenix: In the villages of main land china the empress' symbol would be carved on the side of the tallest mountain. (the ones I hiked in china were very tall and thin limestone mountains and I dont remember what side N,S,E,W the carving was on). The symbol is a Phoenix and as i looked over the most beautiful mist covered view I've ever seen i noticed the symbol from the corner of my eye and it occured to me right then and there. Satine Phoenix. It just felt perfect.

Could you tell us a little bit about how and why you got into the adult industry ?

Other than what i mentioned above, Its one of the many things I was born to do. The Universe naturally led me here. I would go to fetish clubs which prepared me for being comfortable as a stripper which gave me the understanding of swinger clubs which made me comfortable in being watched and performing in public. It was very gradual and I kind of just ended up doing it once i decided to do fetish modeling. fetish, bondage, solo, g/g, b/g...



Can you tell us a little bit about the art work that you create? Your live performance painting and additional works?

I express my feelings, fears, desires and life experiences through my illustrations. They're very personal to me. I've been focusing on drawing amputees and fantasy creatures lately for the beauty of it. My live performances are fun. I feed off the crowd and music around me and work fast and bold. I like to finish a 72 inch x 8ft piece in 3 hours but i'll be working much smaller on the 22nd of August (at Art of Restraint). I also sculpt and Animate. I'm working on a 3 minute fetish animation for RAO Entertainment's Fetish Documentary.


Did you go to art school or are you completely self taught?

I've been drawing since i could pick up a crayon. Took a couple of art classes pre college and ended up going to the Academy of Art College (University) for almost 5 years. I dropped out because they deleted all of my work in my 3d animation class and lost all of my illustrations in illustration class. No compensation, just Oops. Not even a sorry. I went through 3d/2d animation, stop motion animation, Sculpture, Illustration. I kind of wish I finished school but the life experiences I had were priceless and I can always go back. I'm constantly schooling myself with various books and dvds. Art is always learning.


Can you talk a little bit about the similarities between the expression of art and sex or if these two modes of expression are of a similar process for you?

Privately my art and my sex are similar in Sensuality. The women I draw are imperfect and raw yet beautiful, like sex. It doesnt appeal to me to draw people having sex, but to draw women in sexy positions. Not overly revealing, more accidently naturally revealing. I would love to make porn that reflects the same emotions and beauty of what I draw.




What are your favorite types of scenes to shoot?

My tastes change day to day, year to year. Right now i'm in romantic threesome/orgy mode where everyone is having a great time and no one is being really porno. My Girlfriend, Nica Noelle has been writing and Directing some amazing scenes for Sweetheart and Sweet Sinner Video. Pretty much anything she puts me in is what I'm into right now.


What is the intrigue of fetish and bdsm for you personally and what are your feelings on commercial bdsm retaining the authenticity and respect to our leather culture and community?

Oh dear... As a sensualist I love the smell and feel and look of things like latex, fur, leather, metal, food etc. I truly enjoy the tactile sensations, they seem to highten my pleasure sensors. The S/M dance is amazing to me as well. I'm a Switch so giving or receiving these sensations is pretty fantastic. It is the journey of experiencing and appreciating the existence of these pleasurable things that keep me wanting more.

What you see on video vs what I do in my private time is completely different. That's not to say I dont enjoy what I do on film, but you dont get to see the real emotion. I'm not frightened for my life. I'm experiencing every single sensation. the heat of the dom's breath on me, the inflection of voice, the wind from the flogger as it approaches my skin... everything. If I were to make a bondage site you would see the thrill from every party. But that is not what we sell when we make bondage porn. we sell the fantasy of the hi protocol hi edicate, or dark danky dungeon, or hard to please Mistress... Unfortunately while we're making porn for people to whack off to others are watching and using it as a learning tool and are missing out on all of the things that have been edited out. The audience doesn't realize that maybe "red" had been called a number of times but that had been edited out. That it took 20 minutes to tie a girl to the ceiling and that this specific girl only has about 10 minutes left in her to do this shoot though it looks like she's been up for hours . The intimacy and care has been edited out and people think that the girl is supposed to just want you to beat the living day lights out of her and walk away. Aside from the physical damage, what about the psychological? Performers have trained themselves to act in a certain way when told. I know that in my personal life I need a lot of after care but when I'm shooting on film I dont require as much. In real life I dont go into subspace with just anyone. I need to be brought there. On video, you touch me with rope or pull my hair and I'm in subspace immediately because I know how long each scene is, I know what is going to happen to me during the scene (mostly) and how many scenes I have to do. It takes a lot of energy on film. I drink 5-10 red bulls in a work day on an S&M shoot.
I know this is a lengthy responce, i just really want to show everyone that video S&M is much different than personal S&M. The only problem is when people try to do what we do on video in real life with no experience someone ends up getting hurt. I think i'm going to get "dont try this at home" as my next tattoo.



Could you tell us about your integration of tantra into your sexual and bdsm life?

Tantra is Existing and really feeling (or Groking) moment to moment. You can use it in sex or s&m or in every day life as you're walking or sitting or just breathing. It is turning all of your senses on at the same time and really feeling it. Smelling and really seeing and really feeling and REALLY listening. Being Present in the moment without distraction or faltering. Its as simple as looking someone in their eyes into their soul or kissing slowly not just to feel good but to feel each curve of the other person's sweet lips while smelling their skin and running your fingers through their hair. S&M is one of the most naturaly Tantric activity i've ever done. Regulating your breathing to process moment to moment. even canceling out one sensation to heighten another sensation. Communicating at such high fidelity that each person can feel the other's energy because that is what it is Sex/ Tantra/ BDSM... its all energy exchange. Tantra teaches you how to recognize that energy and harness it to take your pleasure sensors to new heights.

Is tantra also something that you integrate into your scenes or is that something that is set aside only for your personal sex life?

My tantra dial can be turned all the way on or I can turn it way down and just look into the person's eyes. I give as much as the other person is willing to exchange in the mutual tantra while at the same time I'm practicing solo tantra and moving the energy from the scene around my own body. The being in love energy I send to my boyfriend is different than the appreciation love energy I send to the other talent.

How do you set boundaries of what you are comfortable sharing with the world sexually and what you feel like you should keep only for you and your lover/s?

I have one Primary Male lover and occasionally I have other female lovers. He is the only person I have Anal Sex with. It is sacred to me and I only do it on my terms. I feel it is important to save something for him. Its hard enough knowing your girlfriend has sex with other men. He gets my heart and my ass :) . I've shared so many things with the world good and bad and ridiculous and beautiful. I am true to who I am at the time in each scene. I dont regret things I've shared in the past, though many I wouldnt do again. That is how I find boundaries because I dont know what I'm not going to like until I do it really, unless I'm just not interested.

What are some of your upcoming adult related and artistic projects that are on the horizon?

I'm still shooting a couple times a month but I am moving more towards comics. One about my life as a stripper, I'm working on a series of fantasy creatures in bondage. I've got two other books that arent adult related that I'm working on. Hopefully they'll be a good foot in the door in the comic world. I havent read anything like what I'm writing. So, we'll see how that goes.

Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?

I dont plan that far ahead. I go where the universe tells me to go at the time. I thought i'd be doing porn forever... things are starting to take me in different directions, but that's life. being able to feel the ebb and flow of it all and maneuvering appropriately without drastic impact.

How does working in the adult industry as a woman empower you sexually and politically?

Working in the Adult industry for as long as I have I've been empowered as a human. I now know what I am capable of, what we are all capable of Physically & Emotionally. Sexually I am more confident and love to share my knowledge with others. I'm not sure how much power I have politically, but I do have a different outlook on life and how people live now. Its not that i feel all of this has empowered me, but its given me the experience and knowledge and and understanding of this side of the social psychology of people that I will hopefully be able to use in my future endeavors.

We are all equal. We are all just people living on this earth. No one is better than another. Some have more experience, some have more luck. But in the end we all come to the same conclusion. Its what you do with your time that is most important.

"You get what anyone gets, You get a lifetime" - Didi from "Death the High Cost of Living" by Neil Gaiman.