Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Year in Porn

Wow! I can't believe it is almost 2010. I was going through the productions I've directed and released this year only to find I've released 11 films in 2009 and have 6 more films directed and about to be released in the new year. It was quite a busy year for me both in front of the camera and behind the camera. Its been an amazing experience documenting the sexual lives of others, interviewing women and men about their sexuality, bending the line between art and sex, and even documenting hot sexual secrets of women when they are pregnant. I feel like this year has given me a chance to fully delve into my love of sexual anthropology and education, while having some really hot orgasms along the way. I'm planning out what this upcoming year looks like and I think its going to be an amazing one. Below is a brief view of the films that have come out this year that I directed so if you haven't checked them out yet now is a great time. And they do make great stocking stuffers.
madison young

Art House Sluts is my Andy Warhol inspired porn. It will be playing in Greece next month for the Athens Porn Film Festival. Very hot summer sex in this film along with a mixture of performance art inspired by Yoko Ono and Carolee Schneemann

Lesbian Life Real Sex NYC. A very hot romp through all of my favorite places to pick up ladies in NYC from Food Swings in Brooklyn to Blue Stockings in LES. I make Jessie Lee orgasm so hard in this film that she cries!

Lights Out. This was a really fun film for me to shoot. Aiden Starr is a phenomenal dominant and I have great chemistry with Ariel X. A delicious whipping scene, gorgeous latex, and great chemistry. If you love latex and ds story lines you will love Lights Out.

Perversions of Lesbian Lust 2 is a Madison Young Production starring myself with the lovely Sasha Grey, Dia Zerva, and Princess Donna. This was my first time working with Sasha and we had a lot of fun in this playful bondage scene, Dia Zerva is amazing as always and Princess Donna pretty much made all of my fantasies come true by putting me in a single ankle suspension, weighting my nipples, vibrating and eat my cunt while fucking me and smothering my mouth in her cunt. This is pretty much my favorite sexual position with one of my favorite people to have sex with.
Perversions of Lesbian Lust 1 won the Best Kink Film award at the Feminist Porn Awards this year and it is nominated for an AEBN Award.

Sylvia. I love this film. Princess Donna and Shawn aka Syd Blakovich have got to be two of my top five people to have sex with. I love them both. What is really fun about this film is that we are all switches and all have a chance to switch in this film. Or at least Shawn and Donna do. This film is based on the A. R. Gurney play Sylvia which I always thought was incredibly hot. It was destined to be turned into a queer poly puppy play film and so that is exactly what I did. Incredibly hot orgasms, anal play, and you get to see Donna licking a toilet while being fucked by Syd. Yum!

The Curse of Mac Beth is another porn inspired by a play. Perhaps you can tell that I was a theater major :) I've always thought that Shakespeare's plays were incredibly hot and always wanted to shoot Mac Beth. Finally with the help of Good Releasing I was able to make that happen. This is a fetishistic reinterpretation with a hot witch orgy, rope bondage suspension, knife play, and really hot sex. If you love Shakespeare and fetish you are going to love The Curse of Mac Beth.

The Fluid Series is one that I've been wanting to do for awhile. With so many shades of grey with in gender and sexuality I wanted to make a series that is for those who identify outside of the box and at the same time get a look into the sexual identity of women and men. This film Fluid 2 focuses on Queer and Bisexual men and features really hot threesome sex scenes between men with other men and women.

This was the original Fluid which delves into the sexuality of queer, pansexual and bisexual women. The interviews are just as hot as the sex scenes. Dylan Ryan, Aiden Starr and Maestro have an incredibly hot threesome on the roof that is fodder for all of my new masturbatory fantasies.

Frisk Me. I've always had a fascination with authority and the defining of authority and I get to explore that in Frisk Me with hot men in uniforms, either dominating or being dominated.

Queer Manor was the first film for Good Releasing that I shot. I shot this in Berlin in the most beautiful mansion that I've ever stayed at. It was insanely decadent and regal and feminine and European and that totally comes across is this hot piece of erotica.

The Thin Line between Art and Sex. I've always said that sex comes from the same visceral place inside of me as sex. Both involve opening yourself up, allowing passion and energy to flow in and out of your being. I wanted to explore that in Thin Line. I gathered 6 artists together for one day allotting them each art studio time and then documenting both their art pieces and process as well as their intimate sex scenes. The result was passionate and intense.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sophia and Puck are invited to a Pep Rally in my Pants

7 Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out

Directed by Courtney Trouble

Reel Queer Productions

presents a Good Releasing Film

Courtney Trouble's 7 Minutes in Heaven is a delicious blend of honest raw sexuality springing forth in a completely organic unscripted fashion with real people with great chemistry. Bring on the tattoos, piercings, and cowboy boots in this queer sex free for all. The film offers a diverse cast with persons of different body types, gender identities and ethnicities. The film is very playful has a very young punk rock/alt feel to it. There are women experiencing their first time having sex in front of the camera and women experiencing their first queer sexual explorations. It feels very natural and innocent. There are excellent moments in the film that really capture who these people are, what they're interests are, and gives us an excellent portrait of these characters outside of the sex they are having. We feel like we know them, we care about them and so the sex they are sharing for the camera seems that much more intimate and sexy. The music is excellent and adds to the film. I love great music in porn, it always helps me to open up more and get more intimately involved with the characters that I'm watching.

The characters in the film feel genuine. They are mostly amateur performers which at times lends to lulls in a scene or not the best views of close up penetration shots but at the same time gives it a sense of believability. We know that this is a porn, that there is voyeur shooting the film. At times the camera is shaky or moving in for the shot but it makes it feel really hot and pervy in a really sexy way. Courtney is one of the characters, "the watcher" and her presence makes the scenes even hotter for me. I love the fact that there aren't really any fake nails and the chipped finger nail polish gives me a huge hard on.

In the film there seems to be multiple sex scenes happening at the same time which can be a little distracting to the viewer. It seems like it would be really hot if I was there and having sex, but is a little distracting for me on this side of the screen. There is a delicious variance is types of scenes that take place in the film. The majority of the scenes tend to be a little softer than my taste - I prefer more sm, ds, fisting, rough sex scenes. But I feel like this film is really perfect and approachable for couples, lesbians, queers, and persons interested in mostly vanilla sex.

There is a nice light ds dynamic between Carson and Puck. These two have fabulous energy. And they are both incredibly hot in this scene. There is some delightful cock sucking - which is always a favorite of mine and some threesome action with Tina Horn.

Speaking of Tina Horn... this woman is amazing. What a sexual appetite? Tina is one voracious femme slut with an insatiable appetite for erotic connection and can flip from top to bottom with the blink of an eye lash and a spank on the bottom.

Tina and Sophia have a wonderful scene. New comer Sophia has rocked my world, she is stunning, simply stunning. I want her in my bed now. Sophia orgasms beautifully. There is a really tender sweet moment where Tina cradles Sophia's head against her chest as she cries out in climax.

Jolene is another new performer. She has gorgeous porcelain skin and pretty pink nipples. She looks like the Ivory Soap girl with a septum piercing, pure, beautiful and ready to be defiled. Jolene emotes beautifully and is soft and curvy, she has this milky flesh and blushing cheeks when she's getting turned on. Some of the footage looks a little grainy, I think maybe it was a low light situation, but I easily forgave that and gave into Jolene's whimpers in the bathroom sex scene.

Sophia and Puck have a really hot chemistry. I think that was one of my favorite scenes. Puck is hot, sexy and full of geekiness. There was great communication in this scene and negotiation. Puck has this charming nervousness about him and Sophia is simply a natural with really hot body. Puck wields a strap on like a champ and offers up the hottest fucking in the film. After they finished I wanted even more. I could have watched just the two of them for another hour.

There was a lot of sex in this film. A lot. I lost track of how many scenes there were. Some of the scenes are shorter but you have every variation of couples that you could imagine(including threesomes and an orgy) and each scene is filled with a genuine desire for the performers to connect sexually with their chosen play mates. There is a something in this film for everyone. 120 minutes of hot sexy fun.

Stars and Cast:

Cast: Carson Jae Joline Parton Puck Goodfellow Sarah Lee Sinful Sophia Tina Horn

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Dia Zerva; curiosity and sexual discovery

Dia Zerva is a smart, funny, and very powerful woman that has an inquisitive mind and a body that can handle just about anything. She has a beautiful heart and body and is a woman that I'm very honored to have met and worked with on numerous occasions. It has been a joy to watch as she has unleashed sexual self and discovered new kinks and fetishes in front of the camera. Love you Dia.

What were you like growing up? Were you experimental sexually from a young age or did you take your time sexually?

My dad called me Elly Mae and my nickname was PigPen. I was a tomboy with a lot of scrapes and bumps from my adventures in sports and outdoor fun. Growing up in a relatively conservative Midwestern family, things were always made from scratch and there was not a lot of money to travel. I was left alone to my own devices and these formative years really made me who I am.

I have always been an imaginative person and I recall my attraction to both sexes was at a very young age. As stereotypical it may sound, I thought it cool as a 4 year old that my mom?s softball team consisted of a lot of masculine women. My mom is a tomboy by nature too and I was surrounded by women that acted in both roles.

Although there were moments of close sexual experiments, it was only until I was in the Marine Corps that I lost my virginity. Prior to that, I experimented only with boys as I was raised in an area where liking women would be unheard of and ?scandalous.? But I always had the feeling that another lesbian or bisexual woman knew what I was thinking?

What were you like growing up? Were you experimental sexually from a young age or did you take your time sexually?

When was the first time you remember sexually being aroused or intrigued by kink or fetish? Describe this experience for us.

I was fascinated with being restrained. When there was a family get-together, I would ask my cousins if they wanted to play my game called ?Tied Up? and I would be the one tied up. It happened only once and I tried to convince them to play again. I used to pin down my girl cousins too as we pretended to kiss by covering our hands over our mouths imitating what I saw on television. There are a lot of snippets growing up that happened or bout which I fantasized, but as Catholicism and a very protective mother started to take more control of my mannerisms, things became more and more repressed.

What did you go to college for and what were you doing before you started performing in the adult industry?

I studied classical guitar, the French horn and other instruments through grammar to high school and was going to pursue a music career. At 17, I was recruited into the United States Marine Corps and played the French horn in the Marine band. When I saw the uniform, the opportunities to travel and move out of my little town, I had to take the challenge. Once I finished my Marine Corps career and ended a horrible marriage at a young age, I moved back to Pittsburgh , PA and finished my bachelor?s degree in English. Almost two years in Pittsburgh and ready to graduate, I met my Man and Master. He helped me move out west with him and we worked together in the publishing/graphic design industry specializing in motorcycles. Unfortunately work was dwindling and I began working in real estate. My work in real estate started in title moving onto mortgages and now I have a broker?s license in California and a banking license in Nevada .

If you could give an adult actress 3 bits of advice about going about buying a house, what would you tell her?

Let me see your credit report
Are you incorporated? If so, you need to prove income for 2 plus years for you to be considered full time to buy a home.
Plan to have at least 6 months of overhead in the bank that is seasoned for at least 6 months.
CALL ME (I know you said 3, Madison , haha)

Why did you decide to get into performing in the adult industry?

As all these career changes happened, my Man, Wordman, was helping me get out all the repression I had with my sexuality, self-image and insecurities. ?You need to see what I see when you wake up naked beside me...? What started as an exercise of seeing myself in the nude transformed into an exploration of myself and what I desire. I hated my body for so long and tried to hide myself in large clothes. It is sad to think of how down I was on myself. I am thankful that part of my life is over and that I have been able to help others.

So each step into fulltime performing in the adult industry has been well thought and planned with my partner. I began doing simple nude work, then foot fetish/WAM or wet and messy with local friends, then I met a beautiful woman who really opened things up for me. I became bisexual. I felt at home in my heart. It seems that at this point over three years ago, that my career began to pick up and here I am now.

Were you an avid porn watcher before you got into the industry and if so what kind of porn was the most interesting to you?

I wouldn?t say I was avid, but I watched anything I could get my hands on. If I had to say what was most inspirational it was Andrew Blake and (although admittedly not porn), women in prison movies. I am a nut for low budget horror movies or action from the early 70s/late 60s that has that softcore quality to it. I just wanna see some boobies, haha

What is one of your greatest unfulfilled fantasies?

Blindfolded, bound, many hands wearing latex gloves?

What are your favorite scenes to take part in? Who are your favorite performers and directors to work with and why?

I will need to break this down a bit?too much to share

It can be any type of scene: BDSM, hardcore porn, wrestling, foot work or sploshing. I love scenes with people that love to have sex or are so charged with what they are doing. It sounds odd that my opinion is simple. The energy has to be there and the creativity begins. I could be on a tree branch making out and be content.

So, now the list begins and these are wonderful people that have that energy.

You ready????

Favorite performers?
Anytime someone asks for suggestions, these names come to mind.
Syd Blakovich, Satine Phoenix, Melanie Monroe, Sarah Blake, Dylan Ryan (still remember that from last year for Writers and Rockstars), January Seraph, Adrianna Nicole, Amber Rayne, Ariel X, Dragonlily, Mz. Berlin, Trina Michaels, Paris Kennedy, Rocco Reed, Mr. Markus, Sean Michaels, David Perry

Wishlist performers ?
I watched them perform or I have partially performed with them and just look forward to having actual scenes.
There are many I have not worked with yet but admire their work. Aiden Star, Belladonna, Jiz Lee, Fivestar and Justine Jolie are beautiful people I hope to work with soon.

Each woman has paved their way to their position in life. I look up to them and they set great examples.
Claire Adams
Madison Young (duh!)
Kylie Ireland

These directors embrace what you can give into the scene. They encourage it and make the experience even better!
Kink? Everyone
Jules Jordan ? Mike John and Tim Von Swine
Sweetheart ? Nica Noelle
Triangle ? Katherine Annelle
NoFauxxx ? Courtney Trouble
Girlfriends Films - Dan
Academy Wrestling ? Uncle Bruce Wrestling ? Terry
Footmode Productions ? Leo
Tin Pan Productions ? Peter the Pie Man ? the start of my foot fetish and sploshing

Do you feel like porn is a sexually empowering experience for you and if so how?

I do. My stage name may be Dia Zerva but you get me, the woman in the flesh, behind the name. I have read recently that I smile a lot when I am in a scene or just having sex. I am so happy with what I am doing both giving and receiving. I have come into my own and just wish to exude it. I have nothing to hide.

What have you discovered about yourself sexually through porn?

First BDSM?it has changed my life for the better both in my relationships and how I process and communicate. Second is anal. I had a sad experience many years ago where I was violated and I have been able to turn that around into something wonderful. As I mentioned to you Madison, you were a catalyst for me and I will always thank you!

What projects are you working on outside of porn?

A lot are related to the business and building my own business. As time allows I get current with the mortgage aspect of the economy. My attentions are really diverse and in the past month I have been dedicating time to playing classical guitar again and training. It is so easy to forget to do things that have molded you into who you are. My classical guitar is an old friend and I wish to perform out again. Also, I enjoy training and plan to do a marathon in 2010. Most of what is on my plate are long term goals and projects.

You practice Jiu-Jitsu, correct? Could you tell us a little bit about your interest in wrestling and how that developed?

I do practice Jiu-Jitsu, but currently my training is straight grappling and kickboxing. Dragonlily, is practically my neighbor and we have decided to train together as our schedules allow. I am really excited with this prospect, even it if is twice a month. I have also discovered a great MMA facility close to my home with a very flexible schedule which is perfect for what I need right now. Let?s see what happens in a couple of months!

Do you find wrestling to be sexually arousing or is it purely competitive? Are you competitive when you are engaging in sex?

Mixed wrestling, unless it is with Wordman & another male friend is not arousing to me. I do session wrestling with a variety of men of all ages and sizes and I feel like I am a facilitator in taking them where they need to go. This is where the dominating skills I have been honing for the past 12 months of session wrestling have allowed me to more fully understand different needs and personalities of my clients.

Femme/Femme wrestling is totally arousing and competitive especially when I know the other woman is into it as much as I am. Something about the flirty smile while squeezing the opponent, the sweat, pinning?it is so raw.

You are also a professional dom/wrestler correct? Can you tell us a little about this element of sex work?

I am a professional domme specializing in wrestling and expanding more into other realms. I have been session wrestling for over a year now and this has been my infancy stage for dominating. Although it could be tied to sex work, please understand that I DO NOT ever engage in any sort of sexual activity while session wrestling or dominating. I don?t do this and I never will. A wrestling session can range from pure impact play to psychological. Some sessions have an undertone of infantilism or I take the person back to their adolescence when a girl would beat him up. Other sessions have smothering, breath play or belly punching. With each person there is something unique and I do a lot of screening and communication prior to the session. It is almost like a case file where I interview them and ensure what will happen during their experience. We come to an agreement of what will happen then meet for the session. I have a security guard with me at all times (usually Wordman) who stands close by. Our protocol is that I call him prior to the start of the session to ensure my safety. I then call or send him text messages throughout the session. My clients are all made aware that if they screw up, a huge leather boot will kick in the door and come to my aid. During the session, I engage my client in dialog to ensure their safety and that they are having a great experience. After we follow up and exchange thanks for the session and I try to get a review so I know what or how to improve the next session. All of my sessions are nonsexual but the session wrestler is aroused from the experience. I find it fascinating the majority has an erection in their workout shorts the entire time and their breathing indicates they are having some form of ecstasy. My reward is their happiness in trusting me to take them there. I can not even describe the feeling of gratification I get when the person is close to tears thanking me for giving them something they can not have in their day to day life. I feel session wrestling is lucrative but I do not count on it as my bread and butter. I session because I want to first and just feel like I am giving back what other doms give me.

How often do you train and what does training consist of? What do you eat and how much do you work out on any given day

I try to stick to the blood type diet and eat as clean as possible. I am not a calorie counter but I eat what feels right for my body. My training is never the same but at least 3-4 days a week I run, kickbox, grapple, weightlift. The remaining days are usually physical including session wrestling and shooting porn. If you ever watch any videos I am in, you will notice I tend to sweat A LOT! Porn is an excellent workout.

What kind of injuries have you experienced through wrestling?

As I really focus on stretching and proper warm-ups, my injuries have been the typical face bruising from tight squeezes, back strains and pulled muscles that need the basic TLC any athlete experiences.

How would you compare the wrestling that you do on sites like Ultimate Surrender to the wrestling that you do outside of sex work and the adult industry?

US and Academy will definitely tire you out. Many wrestlers have agreed that the sex ending can be the most exhausting. After pushing yourself to win three 8-minute rounds, then having to be in the position to fuck, it takes a lot of mind over matter to ensure you fuck the loser well.

With session wrestling, the scenario is more of a fantasy and semi-competitive. I find the pace is metered well for breaks and the hour will not leave you too sore unless we decide to make the session competitive.

You are somewhat new to BDSM correct? What elements of BDSM are most intriguing to you and how would you like to delve deeper into your BDSM experiences?

Yes I am somewhat new to BDSM and in fact when we met for the first time and I wrestled for the first time with you at Academy Wrestling, you gave me the rundown on this interesting little world...then 6 months later, I worked for and my life has changed for the best. ?Oh so there is a name for the things that I want and what goes through my mind since I was little?? ? something I like to say in regards to BDSM in my life.

The impact play and psychological play are the most intriguing elements to me. It is amazing how I feel being caned and speaking out my fears. It is beautiful to have that moment of crying and realizing I can stand a little taller with knowing myself more. At this point I am focusing on why the physical pain is so important to me and how to implement it safely and properly. Also, I am interested in understanding why other people enjoy these experiences and what they get out of them.

How do you maintain your boundaries with in sex work?

I am in constant communication and checking in not only with the other acknowledging my limits but also making sure I am not overstepping their boundaries. I think it is misinterpreted that if you are in the sex business you have an open relationship. I do not have an open relationship but I have permission to be with women of my choosing. So, with this dynamic, it can be very difficult for some to understand.

Can you tell us about an experience in which you felt great fulfillment through your work?

Recently I was cast as the rebellious inmate for Triangle Films River Rock Women?s Prison. I had a powerful scene with one of my mentors, Claire Adams. The scene was my favorite and it felt magical. Our emotions were so intense, the bondage was beautiful and not once did I realize the camera was there. At one point we were both crying?to me that was the great fulfillment of letting myself go and feeling the other person give that back to me. I am really excited for the release of this movie, which I believe is in November.

Tell us about your love of sploshing? I love the scene that you did in Courtney Trouble's Roulette. It really looks like your taking your time indulging in the cool milk. Can you explain to some of our readers that are unfamiliar with this fetish why sploshing is a turn on?

Sploshing was a joke to me in 2006. I remember Wordman and I watching John Waters? A Dirty Shame, and in it there was a scene where a woman get off by pouring cans of Spaghetti-Os all over herself (she was clothed) in a convenience store. At this point in my career I did nonsexual scenes where I would play in mud, water, cake batter with my feet and massage the mess onto my friend Camille ( We would laugh but make it sexy as her fan base loved seeing clothes, shoes, nylons, and bodies covered in goo. The more I would do it and watch it?well, it became more of a turn on for me. At the same time, I did not connect my childhood antics to the fun I was having.

By going beyond being messy and making something inanimate sexual, well, that opened a new can of worms. It is a fetish of mine. Do I do it daily? No. Do I think of it daily? Hell yes! Just imagine a beautiful woman licking you clean as you squeeze fresh pineapple just all over your body. It is a form of worship, it is foreplay? and it is so much fun!

How would you describe feminist or sex positive porn?

Regarding feminism, I don't honestly view porn (or life in general) through that filter. I watch what I enjoy, likewise I produce and perform in what I enjoy, so in that manner, I am empowered because I only do what turns me on. I suppose that also makes these experiences sex-positive for me.

At the risk of being too general, it's like that cliché about art, I don't know (everything about) art, but I know what I like when I (see) it.

What is one positive thing that you can share with our readers about how to empower themselves sexually?

It is never too late to express yourself or discover something that turns you on.

Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?

My company owning business property and in full production, still based in Las Vegas . I'll continue to perform as long as I can and always train.

What upcoming projects do you have that we should watch out for?

In about 6 months, I plan to launch In the meantime I am developing several sites including which is my other enjoyment, balloons!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


FRISK ME - We are under surveillance. And it’s so terrifying that it becomes… titillating. Step into a fantasy world where hand-cuffs and interrogation are simply foreplay. Where night sticks become sex toys, where Orwellian policing becomes protocol and a window for voyeuristic desires to be satiated. Where TSA agents do cavity searches that will have you screaming out in orgasms and begging the words “Frisk Me.” We are reclaiming terror and cultivating pleasure with anal orgasms, female ejaculation, blow jobs, hot dripping wet sex, and BDSM. So what are you waiting for? Aren’t you going to Frisk Me?

Monday, September 21, 2009


There are lots of words that resonate with my identity. With how I personally identify. Very rarely do I feel like I fit perfectly into any one label. My life always seems to need an explanation, a discourse, a full on hand book for people to really understand who I am.

Some of the words that I recognize as part of my identity are queer, kinky, submissive, feminist, sex positive, sensation slut, rope slut, slut, whore, activist, spaniel, artist and vegan.

But I have been challenged in all areas of my identity at different points in my life. Being told usually that I will some how grow out of the way that I identify. Being told that participating in mainstream media means I'm not radical enough to be an activist. Being told that no feminist could also identify as a slut or participate in porn and feminists most definitely are not submissive. I've been told that I can no longer identify as queer by both people in the "straight community" and "queer community" because my primary partner is a cisgendered man. And I've recently been told that I'm no longer vegan because my dominant cisgendered boyfriend bought me a pair of leather boots for my birthday.

First of all, I think its important to remember that everyone has their own ideas and definitions of what identity means to them. These are my opinions and how I have come to know myself and who I am, not any concrete definition. I don't do well with constraint only bondage :)

I believe that identity, sexuality, gender is fluid. It is constantly moving. That we are balls of energy. Some of us are filled or cultivate more erotic energy than others. I'm attracted to the energy of people of all genders. When it comes to purely physical attraction of someone in a magazine or on the internet, where it is more difficult to read energies, I've primarily been attracted to women bodied individuals and persons that read as queer. But when it comes to people in person I'm attracted to people of all genders. I've had relationships with women and gender variant individuals my entire life and have also had relationships with cisgendered men along the way. I'm in an amazing relationship with a cisgendered man, Mr Mogul, who I'm incredibly in love with and that I've been in a relationship with for the last 4 years. Mr Mogul is incredibly respectful and understanding of my queer identity and supports my having relationships outside of our primary relationship with people of all gender identities. I actually just shot an amazing docu/porn for Good Vibrations this past saturday in which we interviewed women who identify as queer, bi, and pansexual and then we filmed some very hot sex scenes with them engaging with women and men. It was really fascinating to see how people identify and how their environment growing up helped to shape different ideas and identities and affinities toward certain words or labels that seemed to best fit who they are.

Recently on twitter I mentioned that Mr Mogul bought me a pair of leather boots. This raised a bit of an outrage from a couple of vegans that couldn't believe that I had the audacity to call myself a vegan and advocate the oppression of animals.

So.. I don't advocate the oppression of animals. I have been vegetarian for 11 years and vegan for 8. I think it was maybe the first 3 years that I was very hard core about my political decision to be vegan. I didn't eat out, I didn't eat on the same dishes as non vegans, I didn't date non-vegans, I didn't wear any animal products.

The reason I became vegan is my disgust in factory farming and the United States greed fueling the oppression and mistreatment of animals. We seem to have this deep desire to consume and throw away. We no longer have any connection to our food. We don't pick our vegetables, we don't know where the meat that we eat comes from or even what animal it came from half the time. Where I grew up in Ohio there were small family farms. We could actually buy milk from Young's dairy. My dad and uncles would hunt deer that he would feed on all winter long. He was connected to his food and he honored the animal that it came from. I know I'm as white as can be, but my grandfather was a quarter Native American and my family still practiced Native American hunting rituals. My Dad actually didn't go to church on sundays with us growing up. Instead he went hunting. He said that when he was in the woods hunting that he felt closest to God. I'm not a very religious person but I do strongly believe in a sense of spirituality.

For me I discovered my spiritual self through bondage, ds, service. These are meditative and transcendental practices for me in which I'm able to free myself from my body or use my body as a reed or vessel for energy to flow into and out of using breath. Bdsm is a way in which I'm able to honor my partner, myself, my community and the earth's energy.

Leather is very strong symbolically with in the "Leather and Bdsm Community". It is precious, it is earned, it is honored. Leather is an organic material, natural. An animal's life was taken in order to produce this material. It is a sacred, leather. It is used for ceremonies such as collaring or the earning of leather. When I am gifted with a pair of leather boots from my dominant:

1. This is a gift that I am being honored with and that I will treasure for years. They will not be disposed of. I'm aware of an honor where they came from.

2. I'm not personally fiscally engaging in the capitalizing of animals, as I did not purchase them they were gifted to me. Freegans that I grew up with held their ethics around veganism close to where you spent your money. If there were leather shoes in the free box or someone gave them a back pack that had a leather label on it or something they would accept it. It was a reused or gifted item.

3. We must all choose our personal battles. I have a lot of amazing activist friends that are not vegan or vegetarian but they are enlightening people about sexuality, gender, feminism, sex positive politics, etc. There are a lot of amazing people out there that aren't veggie. And I've met vegans who are sexist or that work for major corporations with disgusting politics, does it make them a good vegan as long as they don't wear leather? Do all of the people that are condemning my boots use soy ink in their pens? Do you shop in markets that also sell meat? Do you employee others that consume meat or leather? Unless we go live on a farm and completely disengage from the government and refuse to participate in the capitalism in America all together then you will be engaging on some level with the suffering of animals. We can make our personal decisions of where our ethical line is and what we are comfortable with and what fights we are capable of fighting.

I purchase vegan shoes, vegan belts, etc. I'm not a mass consumer of leather products. I'm not a consumer of leather at all but I will wear it. The food choices that I engage in reflect my political views on the factory farming industry. I don't eat meat of any kind, no chicken, no fish, no cheese, no dairy. The closest word that exist for what I am is vegan. Maybe because I wear leather and that is frowned upon I'd be considered a queer vegan. Maybe because the reasons I wear the leather are kinky I'm a kinky queer vegan. So I'm a kinky queer vegan that wears leather boots and loves to suck cock.

There are some amazing vegan online bdsm boutiques like I'm buying some vegan leather from them for reupholstering some furniture at the gallery. Also Moo Shoes in NYC and Otsu in SF are great for vegan leather goods like shoes and belts. I don't think that it is wrong to use vegan leather. I'm simply explain my more complex side to my identity and my food and lifestyle choices. Very few things in life are black and white. I think things are much more complicated and fluid than that.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Feminists for Facials

So Bitch Magazine posted a rather anti-spooj anti-porn article and I posted a comment but it looks like it is up for approval.  In the meantime I thought I'd post it on my blog where we are Feminist for Facials.  

Here is the direct link to the article:Anti-Porn Bitch Magazine Article

What Madison ( A Feminist for Facials) has to say: - excuse the lack of paragraphs it is a rant :)

 I feel like I read a lot of so called feminist articles on the evils of porn that are most likely written by people who don't even watch a lot of porn.  Porn can be feminist.  Porn can be educational, inspire couples, save sex lives, undo some of the sexual repression and body image issues that women grow up with, document our sexual culture, capture chemistry, create visibility for alternative sexual beings, create connection and dialogue around sex between partners, create connection and reduce isolation around fetishes.  I have heard from numerous women who write me telling me that they have wanted to explore being submissive or bdsm for years but they felt that it somehow went against their feminist beliefs but after watching my work it was evident that there was a sense of empowerment, connection and energy exchange happening between me and my partners.  I've also had women say that my work inspired them to become active in their sex positive community, that my work saved their sex life with their partner and inspired new sexual explorations.  I've had these comments from people who identify as queer and as straight.  Porn is a powerful medium.  It shows vulnerability and empowerment as well as connection and release.  There is a rise of feminist and queer porn producers such as myself, Courtney Trouble, and Shine Louise Houston.  For us this is not just a living but is a form of activism and is reflection of our community.  There are plenty of queers and non-queer women who enjoy messy sex and enjoy female ejaculate, male ejaculate, piss and other fluids.  This is an intimate sexual play to be fluid bonded.  And to me it exhibits not an act of degradation but a deep hunger  and lust for your partner that is so great that you want to swallow all of them, including their cum which is a physical manifestation of this persons release of pleasure.  Why wouldn't you want to gobble that up?  Why wouldn't you want to have that closeness with your partner?  Because of  possibly getting some in your hair?   When I am having sex with someone I love or someone I'm hot for I am not thinking about my hair.  This connection has nothing to do with porn.  People have desires for different kinds of sex.  Porn is a vast medium.  We can't say that all advertisements make us want to have sex in a certain way or that all movies make us attracted to a certain kind of person.  Our sexuality is innate, animalistic and porn can often help to guide or inspire or document our sexual desires.  Porn Stars are strong,independent, sexually aware, confident warriors.  We are artists.  We are activists.  We are educators.  We are fearless.  Why shouldn't we be heroes?  I wish when I was 15 that I had exposure to the sex positive adult actresses who are writing about sex and art.  Don't we want women to grow up with a sense of ownership over their sexuality?  In no way do I think that persons who are underage should view porn but if they are aware of a sexually confident strong business woman or an activist as a media figure in the mainstream, I don't think that is giving the wrong impression of sex to young women.  I think it is teaching them to be fearless.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Delving Deep with Dylan Ryan

Dylan Ryan
is a unique gem in the adult industry. A powerful and inquisitive woman who is on the road to creating change in the world through her activism, academics and amazing on screen performances. This year the Feminist Porn Awards honored her excellence with the Heartthrob of the Year award. I have always been impressed with this woman, her sheer brilliance and her legs that go on for days. Below Dylan Ryan shares with us her experiences in bdsm, sexuality, and activism. I'll be shooting Dylan in two weeks for my documentary/porn "Fluid" on the fluidity of sexuality to be released through Good Vibrations. Until then make sure to check Dylan out in Perversions of Lesbian Lust and Writers and Rock Stars and on, and follow her four day sexual and bdsm journey on The Training of O.

Where did you grow up and how did your environment inform your early sexual development? (either in identifying with those around you, not identifying with those around you, or fetishes rooted in your environment growing up)

I grew up in Southern California, hopping around suburban areas and generally enjoying being a small child in the sunshine. My earliest memories of encountering difference where not until I was in 6th grade/ going into Jr. High, a time that seems to be difficult time for most young people- especially difficult for me. I was, at the time, hopelessly androgynous and awkward, a fact that quite a few fellow classmates pounced upon mercilessly. All I wanted at the time was to look like a girl and have boobs and fit in to some gender model that would let me slip past unnoticed during my two-year school sentence. Alas, I didn’t really develop until much later and spent a lot of time suffering and keeping myself company. I tell this tragic story because the realities of that time resulted in a few things: spending all that time alone meant I read, A LOT. And in the world of books were all manner of scandalous ideas; from underage sex and pregnancy to conceptual ideas about constraint and power play. The other reality was that since no boys were interested in me, I turned my attention to girls and playing “house” and doing the things that young girls who are discovering their bodies do. At the time I was horribly guilty but looking back on it now, I understand that it was a rite of passage and I hope I haven’t scarred any of them. Sometimes I wonder if they are out there and if they are queer… All in all, I had a pretty fantastic childhood. I had two parents who were never-failing in telling me that I could do anything that I wanted to do and in fostering my self-esteem. To this day, I think I have such a healthy, open-minded idea of sexuality because they always talked to me like an adult and taught me to love myself.

What was your first kinky experience like and when was the first time that you identified with an alternative sexual identification or alternative sexual culture?

My first experiences that I would isolate as kinky were with my first partner the person with whom I officially came out as queer. I am very lucky that he has such a great memory because while I remember a lot of amazing tying and cropping and smacking and dominant sex, I was failing to remember the true ‘first’. He recalled my talking about how our first times hooking up were filled with my being submissive and that I was astounded at my desire for and appreciation of that dynamic. I think those early days were the first times that I let myself go and really enjoyed bottoming. There was a deep love of smacking and chocking, the impact of the hit and the return of pleasure soon after. I remember the sheer rawness of it and I think that that was the time that formed my sensibility about bdsm, the power-dynamics of it. I had never before been with someone that could take such control and I discovered how much I liked giving it up. That remains true to this day.

What did you major in college? What are you currently studying? How does your academic life relate your sexual life?
I majored in English Literature and Philosophy in undergrad with a focus on writing and ethics. Coming out of university, I was certain that I wanted to teach at the college level and effect the lives of young adults. I went for my teaching credential with that direction in mind and taught for a few years before I got involved in doing Sex Education through my work at Good Vibrations and realized that I still wanted to teach, just not English Lit. Talking to people about sex through Good Vibes and San Francisco Sex Information showed me that education and social change were still the ultimate goals of my work but that I was more interested in communicating about alternative sexualities and marginalized communities (sex workers) than I was about perpetuating existing ideas about normativity and sex/gender. Currently, I feel like I am in the greatest moment of overlap between my academics and my sexual life that I have had thus far… I am entering into my second year of a Masters of Social Work program, my community focus being sex workers; primarily street-based prostitutes. My research in the program focuses on anti-oppressive perspectives around working with sex workers and developing social change to better serve the unique needs of the community. As a sex worker myself, my on-camera sexuality is very much a mouthpiece for the ultimate message I am attempting to convey through my social work and research; that sex workers can be empowered, can enjoy sex for money, that though countless numbers of women are victimized and sexually trafficked, not all are. My message is that sex work is a viable option, serves an important purpose in our world and that changing our laws and public perceptions about this allows women to reclaim ownership of their bodies. Legislating the female body has always been and might always be a hot button topic and I see sex work- prostitution as falling under this umbrella of female control. Though the profession is not entirely populated by women, I feel that the laws are what they are to control women, to enforce the system of patriarchal control. For me, when I get camera, I am first and foremost wearing my sexuality on my sleeve as it were. I am showing that I can do this, can choose this, can enjoy this and hoping that one woman, many women, see that, see me and think that they can too- from actually doing sex work to trying a new sexual position. A big part of my life is dedicated to furthering the cause of sex- free sex, un-constituted by the world in which we live and instead, defined by the individuals themselves.

When did you first get into the adult film industry and what was your motivation behind choosing this career?

I feel like this story is such a huge part of my Dylan identity at this point in my career…telling it always gives me fond feelings of nostalgia toward Shine Louise Houston and Pink and White Productions. That, or even somewhat more accurately, she, is where I started, acting in Pink and White’s first production; The Crash Pad. Rewinding almost five years ago, I was working with Shine at Good Vibrations and during our breaks or slow moments on the sales floor, we would banter about our big life dreams, mine was to take over the world with my writing, her’s was to make hot queer porn. I was a stripper at the time, working at The Lusty Lady and I remember thinking her dream was amazing and that she had a ton of guts. I promised her, on one of these lazy workdays, that should she ever make a go of it, I would star in her first movie. After leaving Good Vibes and starting her venture, she called me and I was good on my word. Her first movie was my first movie and that is why I am still intensely loyal to Pink and White after all these years. Without Shine and her big dreams of fulfilling her “inner thirteen year old”, I might not be where I am today.

What importance do you see coming out of a new breed of feminist pornographers and feminist porn stars?
In an attempt to sum up my perspective on this question in one line, I am motivated to quote two of my favorite divas, Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox (how hot is she?!), “Sisters are doing it for themselves”. I feel like that is the most important thing that this new wave of creative people bring to the table; the growing understanding that it’s not as simple as “The Male Gaze” anymore, that the new generation of porn is representative of authentic female and queer sexuality. Women, trans people got behind the camera and ventured to make porn that showed their sex, porn stars got in front of the camera and started to show the sex that they were having behind closed doors, the sex that they identified with, not just the sex that they were being directed to have. In the last few years, the tidal wave of ‘alt porn’. queer porn and female-produced porn has given us a ‘for us, by us’ genre that we and the porn-seeking world can consume and relate to. It is amazing and motivating to finally see a greater breadth of production of this kind of work and I am overwhelming grateful to be a part of it.

How does bdsm and ds dynamics fit into your life? What role does engaging in those power dynamics play?

I am a huge proponent of power play and I enjoy experimenting with those dynamics in both my professional and my personal life. There is definitely a difference between the two however and what I gain from either is different as well. For me, work is a challenge. When I am on set and tied and am being flogged, I am completely at one with myself. The range of experimentation and power play that happens in my professional life continues to be a challenge to myself; learning what I like, learning what I can take, battling with my inner demons and constraints. I love a good shoot when it pushes me and takes me to new places, either through the bondage, the impact play, the interactions with the domme… I am always working with and against myself and the inner dialogue that comes out of these experiences is almost epiphanic. In my personal life, the connection and dialogue is shared with my partner. The power play experience, the experience of pain and pushing and challenging is shared as a conversation with him. He pushes, I push back and we battle with one another. It s cerebral and embodied and intuitive and I learn as I would in any bdsm situation but as I learn about myself, I am learning about him. There is also the element of love and release in my personal play…allowing him to take me over and take me where he wants. This is true for my pro life as well but in the intimate space it is a totally giving over, complete trust…the knowledge that for those brief moments I can leave my head, lose myself in the pleasure and that he will show me the way back when I have come down from the experience, whereas in my professional life, I am always acutely aware and never not present.

What are your goals with in the adult industry? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

My goals are to continue to do projects that I feel reflect my sexuality and promote empowered female sexuality. There are still so many things I haven’t done in porn, so many people I would love to work with; some of the big name directors and actors that I admire- Belladonna, John Stagliano, Tristan Taormino, Nina Hartley. I hope to have a chance to work with all of these people before my time is up. As for ten years, I think my impact on the industry in ten years will be through my writing, my research and the work I do with community organizations and legislation. I hope to have a chance to promote other young actresses and actors that want to be in this business and I hope to see the continued progression of porn toward re-structuring the ‘mainstream’ and giving people hot, well-made sex that is authentic.

How do you define sex positive, queer and feminist pornography?

It is porn that shows the variety of different bodies and sexualities that are out there. It is porn that is made by members of the community for whom it is designed. It is porn that pushes the envelope of our limited spectrum of what constitutes hot and erotic. It is porn that shows people having sex the way they do in their personal lives. It is porn with authentic storylines that is populated by performers who feel proud of what they do and do it willingly. It is porn that makes people stop and think. It is porn that challenges the mainstream and creates an entirely new world of fantasy. It is porn that empowers rather than degrading. It is porn that is so hot you can’t wait for the sequel…

What are your favorite kinks and sexual ice creams to indulge in and let us in on why these elements of sexuality and kink are intriguing to you?
I love that term: sexual ice creams… I think I shall list mine: role playing, experimenting with sexual deviance and the kinds of sex you’re not supposed to talk about, breath play, humiliation, hardcore anal.

Who are your artistic, academic, and sexual inspirations and heros?

I think a list would be apropos here as well and since I‘m feeling it, I’ll stick to women.

Academic; bell hooks, Audacia Ray, Gloria Anzaldua, Margo St, James, Donna Haraway, Judith Butler, Julia Kristeva, Nikki Giovanni, Annie Oakley.

Sexual; Belladonna, Joanna Angel, Madison Young, Tristan Taormino, Shine Louise Houston, Lorelei Lee, Courtney Trouble, Annie Sprinkle, Nina Hartley, Carol Queen.

Artistic: PJ Harvey, Inga Muscio, Barbara Kingsolver, Susie Bright, Elizabeth Gilbert, Miranda July, Regina Spektor, Tracey Emin, Wangechi Mutu.

* this terribly short list was off the cuff…I wish I had time to go home and raid my book collection…
Who are some of your favorite performers and directors to work with and why?

I love working with directors that let me be me and allow my creativity to be a part of our projects together. I also love working with fellow performers who are really into making porn and having a good time on camera. You know who you are.

What helps you to reach the deepest connection and sexually satisfying moment with another performer?

Knowing that they are into it. There is truly nothing worse than working with someone who is only there because they are being paid or who is not into me at all. When I am able to be sexual and perform and get into it, I am able to connect with my co-star. I have had the best time with down-to-earth and genuine people who really love sex and really love what they do. When I get together with these people and we geek out on the fun and hotness of making porn, it is magic.

Do you have any upcoming workshops, videos or performances on the horizon?

I will be shooting with Madison Young for an upcoming project in September T.B.A. (yay!) and working with Courtney Trouble for one of her upcoming films. In my hometown of Toronto, I will be performing onstage at Torture Garden and at Nuit Blanche in October. Both of these stage performances will be part of a day-in-the life cinema verite-style documentary that will hopefully come out next year. I am also set to teach a stripping workshop at Good For Her in Toronto in early November.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Silky Smooth Vibrations by Madison Young

It's 10am and I'm sipping on my nice warm cup of Yerba Mate Tea and staring at the beautiful blue swirling (and vibrating) silicone goodness known as the G - Twist. I have a couple of hours until my new video editor will be over to the house to start work on my newest Madison Young Production and I really want to give this new vibe a try. So I turned my I Phone on shuffle, plugged in the speakers, popped in the batteries and were off.

This is a great toy. The first thing that really strikes me about this toy is that it is soft and flexible to the touch but it's also firm. It's a royal blue color so it seems fun but not funny like some of the vibrators that are shaped like creatures (ducks, rabbits, etc).

One of my favorite things about this toy is that it is made of this amazing silicone, easy to clean, safe and non porous material but it still allows me to use silicone based lube. Most silicone toys you can't use silicone lube with because it will bond to its self. But the G-Twist has come up with some super silicone formula that allows us silicone lovers to use our silicone lube.

I love the fact that the G- Twist is water resistant and that dust and dirt aren't clinging to the toy. Some of my silicone dildos attract hairs, dust, etc and it seems almost impossible to keep them clean. But this toy seems to actually repel dirt and fuzzies which makes me feel really safe and secure with this toy before we go all the way.

As many of you might know I'm a sensation slut. I love heavy sensation including vibration. My hitatchi is my favorite vibe and I love fucking machines and more vibration than most people can stand.

I've pretty much given up on anything having the strength of the hitatchi. But different environments call for different weaponry. I just returned from Europe with the Queer X Show and was separated from my dear hitatchi for 3 weeks. The electric currency is different in Europe and I had already blown one hitatchi on a previous trip to Europe a couple of years ago. I think the G- Twist will be my new best friend for travel. It won't get super dirty in my luggage, it cleans easy and operates on 2 AA batteries.

But does it get me off? Yes! Yes I got off twice in 15 minutes once in the family room and once in the bathroom. Dress hiked up and panties pulled down as I spread my legs on our Ikea couch. I listened to sticks against drum sets, against cymbals, squeaky voiced man/boys screaming of love lost as I was finding mine. The smooth silky texture of this vibrator felt amazing up against my labia and pressed against my clit as my legs stretched long and images of delicious climaxes of the recent past swept through my mind, as they always do before I'm about to cum. Quick fucks in the Lexington Club bathroom, cock ring tight around balls as I swallow cock whole, leaning out on the ledge of the rooftop as you fuck me in my new leather boots, salty flesh, sweet cunt, bitter cum, the taste of pleasure, as I reach climax.

The silkiness and texture of this vibrator is unlike any I have felt before. It's decadent.

I make my way to the bathroom, legs dangling in the tub as my legs spread. If I'm going to make a mess, the bathroom allows for easy clean up. The G - Twist feels really nice upon entry. I notice that I need a little more lube as the material of the vibe seems to soak it up. But it's very comfortable. Its a modest 6 inch vibrator maybe an inch and a half in diameter. This is usually much smaller than what I enjoy but this feels like a casual date and is probably perfect for penetration if you aren't a size queen or a sensation slut. I enjoyed the twists in the structure of the vibrator as I pumped in and out and the vibrator dialed on high. It felt great. My cunt clung on to the vibrator lightly kissing the silkiness of the vibe. It felt very romantic. as I made my way to my climax. This is a vibrator I trust. If this vibe were my date, it would show up clean, ready and would be on time for dinner with my parents. It's a dependable lover. These aren't the same 2 hour long multiple orgasms as what I would get with the hitatchi but it most certainly gets me off and is low maintenance and low drama which counts for a lot.

I didn't feel like the g-twist really did much for my g-spot. I feel like my g spot needs a firmer touch than what the g twist and I prefer something more solid like the N-Joy for g-spot stimulation. But the insides and outsides of my labia and clit love this vibe.

I also loved that it was ergonomic and easy to hold onto while masturbating. No hand cramps as your approaching orgasm with this toy. The dial is great for adjusting the vibe speed if you don't want your room mates to hear you or if you don't like a high vibration. It's very flexible and able to accommodate for varying needs. I'll be taking it with me in the shower tomorrow and maybe for a little anal expedition later this week.

Good luck and happy vibrations.
Madison Young

You can check out the G-Twist for yourself HERE

The Rising Phoenix - Sex, Sensuality and the lovely Satine.

Satine Phoenix is a beautiful and talented artist fetish model and adult performer living in LA. She is one of my favorite people to get hippy with in LA, swapping spirulina smoothie recipes and chatting about breath and the exchange of energy. She is a brilliant illustrator with a vibrant spirit and an unyielding sexual appetite. I'm proud to say that I was there the first time that she felt the hitatchi on her cunt and the first time that she ejaculated. I'm thrilled that she will be coming to San Francisco in a little over a week to do live erotic painting at my gallery for our bondage art salon, Art of Restraint, and the next day she will be performing in a film for Good Vibrations that I'm directing entitled, Frisk Me. This creative soul did me the great honor of allowing me to pick her brain on female empowerment in porn, bdsm, tantra, art and boundaries. Follow Satine's online 5 day slave training and sexual journey on Training of O or check out her very hot sm play session with Mistress Madeline on Whipped Ass.

Could you tell us a little bit about where you came from and how that aided in the development of the Satine Phoenix that we have all come to know and love?

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Satine who was fascinated with leather and latex in the movies and music videos she would watch on MTV. She received a pair of leather waisted black slacks at the age of 11 and this changed her life forever. From then on she would find any way possible to indulge in the more alternative and darker delicacies that fill her senses

I am fairly certain that I was born this way. People are just more inclined with one way of living or another. I had all of the opportunities to be a straight conservative upstanding citizen. I belonged to a youthgroup, got straight A's, President of my Drama Club, on Student Government, volunteered and raised money for various charities and yet I needed to learn all i could about BDSM & Fetishes. I knew when i was young that i wanted to be a Stripper. I knew that i would find a way to fulfil all of my fantasies. I KNEW that i could and that i didnt have to live in my dreams. My Dreams would become my reality. I became a demo model for Chanta Rose who guided me into this world of fetish modeling and pornography. From Sacramento to San Francisco to LA to Sydney, Australia and back again... its been quite a journey.

What is the root and origin of your name?

Satine: As in: my skin is soft as... I got it from two sources. The first is from the movie "Moulin Rouge" where Satine is the Sparkling Diamond. The second, and most true to my nature, is from a Kurt Vonnegut book "Bluebeard". Its a story of an artist and in the 70's he comes across a ficticious paint called Satine Duralux. After 18 years the paint falls off the canvas.

Phoenix: In the villages of main land china the empress' symbol would be carved on the side of the tallest mountain. (the ones I hiked in china were very tall and thin limestone mountains and I dont remember what side N,S,E,W the carving was on). The symbol is a Phoenix and as i looked over the most beautiful mist covered view I've ever seen i noticed the symbol from the corner of my eye and it occured to me right then and there. Satine Phoenix. It just felt perfect.

Could you tell us a little bit about how and why you got into the adult industry ?

Other than what i mentioned above, Its one of the many things I was born to do. The Universe naturally led me here. I would go to fetish clubs which prepared me for being comfortable as a stripper which gave me the understanding of swinger clubs which made me comfortable in being watched and performing in public. It was very gradual and I kind of just ended up doing it once i decided to do fetish modeling. fetish, bondage, solo, g/g, b/g...

Can you tell us a little bit about the art work that you create? Your live performance painting and additional works?

I express my feelings, fears, desires and life experiences through my illustrations. They're very personal to me. I've been focusing on drawing amputees and fantasy creatures lately for the beauty of it. My live performances are fun. I feed off the crowd and music around me and work fast and bold. I like to finish a 72 inch x 8ft piece in 3 hours but i'll be working much smaller on the 22nd of August (at Art of Restraint). I also sculpt and Animate. I'm working on a 3 minute fetish animation for RAO Entertainment's Fetish Documentary.

Did you go to art school or are you completely self taught?

I've been drawing since i could pick up a crayon. Took a couple of art classes pre college and ended up going to the Academy of Art College (University) for almost 5 years. I dropped out because they deleted all of my work in my 3d animation class and lost all of my illustrations in illustration class. No compensation, just Oops. Not even a sorry. I went through 3d/2d animation, stop motion animation, Sculpture, Illustration. I kind of wish I finished school but the life experiences I had were priceless and I can always go back. I'm constantly schooling myself with various books and dvds. Art is always learning.

Can you talk a little bit about the similarities between the expression of art and sex or if these two modes of expression are of a similar process for you?

Privately my art and my sex are similar in Sensuality. The women I draw are imperfect and raw yet beautiful, like sex. It doesnt appeal to me to draw people having sex, but to draw women in sexy positions. Not overly revealing, more accidently naturally revealing. I would love to make porn that reflects the same emotions and beauty of what I draw.

What are your favorite types of scenes to shoot?

My tastes change day to day, year to year. Right now i'm in romantic threesome/orgy mode where everyone is having a great time and no one is being really porno. My Girlfriend, Nica Noelle has been writing and Directing some amazing scenes for Sweetheart and Sweet Sinner Video. Pretty much anything she puts me in is what I'm into right now.

What is the intrigue of fetish and bdsm for you personally and what are your feelings on commercial bdsm retaining the authenticity and respect to our leather culture and community?

Oh dear... As a sensualist I love the smell and feel and look of things like latex, fur, leather, metal, food etc. I truly enjoy the tactile sensations, they seem to highten my pleasure sensors. The S/M dance is amazing to me as well. I'm a Switch so giving or receiving these sensations is pretty fantastic. It is the journey of experiencing and appreciating the existence of these pleasurable things that keep me wanting more.

What you see on video vs what I do in my private time is completely different. That's not to say I dont enjoy what I do on film, but you dont get to see the real emotion. I'm not frightened for my life. I'm experiencing every single sensation. the heat of the dom's breath on me, the inflection of voice, the wind from the flogger as it approaches my skin... everything. If I were to make a bondage site you would see the thrill from every party. But that is not what we sell when we make bondage porn. we sell the fantasy of the hi protocol hi edicate, or dark danky dungeon, or hard to please Mistress... Unfortunately while we're making porn for people to whack off to others are watching and using it as a learning tool and are missing out on all of the things that have been edited out. The audience doesn't realize that maybe "red" had been called a number of times but that had been edited out. That it took 20 minutes to tie a girl to the ceiling and that this specific girl only has about 10 minutes left in her to do this shoot though it looks like she's been up for hours . The intimacy and care has been edited out and people think that the girl is supposed to just want you to beat the living day lights out of her and walk away. Aside from the physical damage, what about the psychological? Performers have trained themselves to act in a certain way when told. I know that in my personal life I need a lot of after care but when I'm shooting on film I dont require as much. In real life I dont go into subspace with just anyone. I need to be brought there. On video, you touch me with rope or pull my hair and I'm in subspace immediately because I know how long each scene is, I know what is going to happen to me during the scene (mostly) and how many scenes I have to do. It takes a lot of energy on film. I drink 5-10 red bulls in a work day on an S&M shoot.
I know this is a lengthy responce, i just really want to show everyone that video S&M is much different than personal S&M. The only problem is when people try to do what we do on video in real life with no experience someone ends up getting hurt. I think i'm going to get "dont try this at home" as my next tattoo.

Could you tell us about your integration of tantra into your sexual and bdsm life?

Tantra is Existing and really feeling (or Groking) moment to moment. You can use it in sex or s&m or in every day life as you're walking or sitting or just breathing. It is turning all of your senses on at the same time and really feeling it. Smelling and really seeing and really feeling and REALLY listening. Being Present in the moment without distraction or faltering. Its as simple as looking someone in their eyes into their soul or kissing slowly not just to feel good but to feel each curve of the other person's sweet lips while smelling their skin and running your fingers through their hair. S&M is one of the most naturaly Tantric activity i've ever done. Regulating your breathing to process moment to moment. even canceling out one sensation to heighten another sensation. Communicating at such high fidelity that each person can feel the other's energy because that is what it is Sex/ Tantra/ BDSM... its all energy exchange. Tantra teaches you how to recognize that energy and harness it to take your pleasure sensors to new heights.

Is tantra also something that you integrate into your scenes or is that something that is set aside only for your personal sex life?

My tantra dial can be turned all the way on or I can turn it way down and just look into the person's eyes. I give as much as the other person is willing to exchange in the mutual tantra while at the same time I'm practicing solo tantra and moving the energy from the scene around my own body. The being in love energy I send to my boyfriend is different than the appreciation love energy I send to the other talent.

How do you set boundaries of what you are comfortable sharing with the world sexually and what you feel like you should keep only for you and your lover/s?

I have one Primary Male lover and occasionally I have other female lovers. He is the only person I have Anal Sex with. It is sacred to me and I only do it on my terms. I feel it is important to save something for him. Its hard enough knowing your girlfriend has sex with other men. He gets my heart and my ass :) . I've shared so many things with the world good and bad and ridiculous and beautiful. I am true to who I am at the time in each scene. I dont regret things I've shared in the past, though many I wouldnt do again. That is how I find boundaries because I dont know what I'm not going to like until I do it really, unless I'm just not interested.

What are some of your upcoming adult related and artistic projects that are on the horizon?

I'm still shooting a couple times a month but I am moving more towards comics. One about my life as a stripper, I'm working on a series of fantasy creatures in bondage. I've got two other books that arent adult related that I'm working on. Hopefully they'll be a good foot in the door in the comic world. I havent read anything like what I'm writing. So, we'll see how that goes.

Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?

I dont plan that far ahead. I go where the universe tells me to go at the time. I thought i'd be doing porn forever... things are starting to take me in different directions, but that's life. being able to feel the ebb and flow of it all and maneuvering appropriately without drastic impact.

How does working in the adult industry as a woman empower you sexually and politically?

Working in the Adult industry for as long as I have I've been empowered as a human. I now know what I am capable of, what we are all capable of Physically & Emotionally. Sexually I am more confident and love to share my knowledge with others. I'm not sure how much power I have politically, but I do have a different outlook on life and how people live now. Its not that i feel all of this has empowered me, but its given me the experience and knowledge and and understanding of this side of the social psychology of people that I will hopefully be able to use in my future endeavors.

We are all equal. We are all just people living on this earth. No one is better than another. Some have more experience, some have more luck. But in the end we all come to the same conclusion. Its what you do with your time that is most important.

"You get what anyone gets, You get a lifetime" - Didi from "Death the High Cost of Living" by Neil Gaiman.