Thursday, August 27, 2009

Feminists for Facials



So Bitch Magazine posted a rather anti-spooj anti-porn article and I posted a comment but it looks like it is up for approval.  In the meantime I thought I'd post it on my blog where we are Feminist for Facials.  

Here is the direct link to the article:Anti-Porn Bitch Magazine Article

What Madison ( A Feminist for Facials) has to say: - excuse the lack of paragraphs it is a rant :)

 I feel like I read a lot of so called feminist articles on the evils of porn that are most likely written by people who don't even watch a lot of porn.  Porn can be feminist.  Porn can be educational, inspire couples, save sex lives, undo some of the sexual repression and body image issues that women grow up with, document our sexual culture, capture chemistry, create visibility for alternative sexual beings, create connection and dialogue around sex between partners, create connection and reduce isolation around fetishes.  I have heard from numerous women who write me telling me that they have wanted to explore being submissive or bdsm for years but they felt that it somehow went against their feminist beliefs but after watching my work it was evident that there was a sense of empowerment, connection and energy exchange happening between me and my partners.  I've also had women say that my work inspired them to become active in their sex positive community, that my work saved their sex life with their partner and inspired new sexual explorations.  I've had these comments from people who identify as queer and as straight.  Porn is a powerful medium.  It shows vulnerability and empowerment as well as connection and release.  There is a rise of feminist and queer porn producers such as myself, Courtney Trouble, and Shine Louise Houston.  For us this is not just a living but is a form of activism and is reflection of our community.  There are plenty of queers and non-queer women who enjoy messy sex and enjoy female ejaculate, male ejaculate, piss and other fluids.  This is an intimate sexual play to be fluid bonded.  And to me it exhibits not an act of degradation but a deep hunger  and lust for your partner that is so great that you want to swallow all of them, including their cum which is a physical manifestation of this persons release of pleasure.  Why wouldn't you want to gobble that up?  Why wouldn't you want to have that closeness with your partner?  Because of  possibly getting some in your hair?   When I am having sex with someone I love or someone I'm hot for I am not thinking about my hair.  This connection has nothing to do with porn.  People have desires for different kinds of sex.  Porn is a vast medium.  We can't say that all advertisements make us want to have sex in a certain way or that all movies make us attracted to a certain kind of person.  Our sexuality is innate, animalistic and porn can often help to guide or inspire or document our sexual desires.  Porn Stars are strong,independent, sexually aware, confident warriors.  We are artists.  We are activists.  We are educators.  We are fearless.  Why shouldn't we be heroes?  I wish when I was 15 that I had exposure to the sex positive adult actresses who are writing about sex and art.  Don't we want women to grow up with a sense of ownership over their sexuality?  In no way do I think that persons who are underage should view porn but if they are aware of a sexually confident strong business woman or an activist as a media figure in the mainstream, I don't think that is giving the wrong impression of sex to young women.  I think it is teaching them to be fearless.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Delving Deep with Dylan Ryan





Dylan Ryan
is a unique gem in the adult industry. A powerful and inquisitive woman who is on the road to creating change in the world through her activism, academics and amazing on screen performances. This year the Feminist Porn Awards honored her excellence with the Heartthrob of the Year award. I have always been impressed with this woman, her sheer brilliance and her legs that go on for days. Below Dylan Ryan shares with us her experiences in bdsm, sexuality, and activism. I'll be shooting Dylan in two weeks for my documentary/porn "Fluid" on the fluidity of sexuality to be released through Good Vibrations. Until then make sure to check Dylan out in Perversions of Lesbian Lust and Writers and Rock Stars and on MadisonBound.com, SexandSubmission.com and follow her four day sexual and bdsm journey on The Training of O.

Where did you grow up and how did your environment inform your early sexual development? (either in identifying with those around you, not identifying with those around you, or fetishes rooted in your environment growing up)

I grew up in Southern California, hopping around suburban areas and generally enjoying being a small child in the sunshine. My earliest memories of encountering difference where not until I was in 6th grade/ going into Jr. High, a time that seems to be difficult time for most young people- especially difficult for me. I was, at the time, hopelessly androgynous and awkward, a fact that quite a few fellow classmates pounced upon mercilessly. All I wanted at the time was to look like a girl and have boobs and fit in to some gender model that would let me slip past unnoticed during my two-year school sentence. Alas, I didn’t really develop until much later and spent a lot of time suffering and keeping myself company. I tell this tragic story because the realities of that time resulted in a few things: spending all that time alone meant I read, A LOT. And in the world of books were all manner of scandalous ideas; from underage sex and pregnancy to conceptual ideas about constraint and power play. The other reality was that since no boys were interested in me, I turned my attention to girls and playing “house” and doing the things that young girls who are discovering their bodies do. At the time I was horribly guilty but looking back on it now, I understand that it was a rite of passage and I hope I haven’t scarred any of them. Sometimes I wonder if they are out there and if they are queer… All in all, I had a pretty fantastic childhood. I had two parents who were never-failing in telling me that I could do anything that I wanted to do and in fostering my self-esteem. To this day, I think I have such a healthy, open-minded idea of sexuality because they always talked to me like an adult and taught me to love myself.



What was your first kinky experience like and when was the first time that you identified with an alternative sexual identification or alternative sexual culture?

My first experiences that I would isolate as kinky were with my first partner the person with whom I officially came out as queer. I am very lucky that he has such a great memory because while I remember a lot of amazing tying and cropping and smacking and dominant sex, I was failing to remember the true ‘first’. He recalled my talking about how our first times hooking up were filled with my being submissive and that I was astounded at my desire for and appreciation of that dynamic. I think those early days were the first times that I let myself go and really enjoyed bottoming. There was a deep love of smacking and chocking, the impact of the hit and the return of pleasure soon after. I remember the sheer rawness of it and I think that that was the time that formed my sensibility about bdsm, the power-dynamics of it. I had never before been with someone that could take such control and I discovered how much I liked giving it up. That remains true to this day.


What did you major in college? What are you currently studying? How does your academic life relate your sexual life?
I majored in English Literature and Philosophy in undergrad with a focus on writing and ethics. Coming out of university, I was certain that I wanted to teach at the college level and effect the lives of young adults. I went for my teaching credential with that direction in mind and taught for a few years before I got involved in doing Sex Education through my work at Good Vibrations and realized that I still wanted to teach, just not English Lit. Talking to people about sex through Good Vibes and San Francisco Sex Information showed me that education and social change were still the ultimate goals of my work but that I was more interested in communicating about alternative sexualities and marginalized communities (sex workers) than I was about perpetuating existing ideas about normativity and sex/gender. Currently, I feel like I am in the greatest moment of overlap between my academics and my sexual life that I have had thus far… I am entering into my second year of a Masters of Social Work program, my community focus being sex workers; primarily street-based prostitutes. My research in the program focuses on anti-oppressive perspectives around working with sex workers and developing social change to better serve the unique needs of the community. As a sex worker myself, my on-camera sexuality is very much a mouthpiece for the ultimate message I am attempting to convey through my social work and research; that sex workers can be empowered, can enjoy sex for money, that though countless numbers of women are victimized and sexually trafficked, not all are. My message is that sex work is a viable option, serves an important purpose in our world and that changing our laws and public perceptions about this allows women to reclaim ownership of their bodies. Legislating the female body has always been and might always be a hot button topic and I see sex work- prostitution as falling under this umbrella of female control. Though the profession is not entirely populated by women, I feel that the laws are what they are to control women, to enforce the system of patriarchal control. For me, when I get camera, I am first and foremost wearing my sexuality on my sleeve as it were. I am showing that I can do this, can choose this, can enjoy this and hoping that one woman, many women, see that, see me and think that they can too- from actually doing sex work to trying a new sexual position. A big part of my life is dedicated to furthering the cause of sex- free sex, un-constituted by the world in which we live and instead, defined by the individuals themselves.



When did you first get into the adult film industry and what was your motivation behind choosing this career?

I feel like this story is such a huge part of my Dylan identity at this point in my career…telling it always gives me fond feelings of nostalgia toward Shine Louise Houston and Pink and White Productions. That, or even somewhat more accurately, she, is where I started, acting in Pink and White’s first production; The Crash Pad. Rewinding almost five years ago, I was working with Shine at Good Vibrations and during our breaks or slow moments on the sales floor, we would banter about our big life dreams, mine was to take over the world with my writing, her’s was to make hot queer porn. I was a stripper at the time, working at The Lusty Lady and I remember thinking her dream was amazing and that she had a ton of guts. I promised her, on one of these lazy workdays, that should she ever make a go of it, I would star in her first movie. After leaving Good Vibes and starting her venture, she called me and I was good on my word. Her first movie was my first movie and that is why I am still intensely loyal to Pink and White after all these years. Without Shine and her big dreams of fulfilling her “inner thirteen year old”, I might not be where I am today.



What importance do you see coming out of a new breed of feminist pornographers and feminist porn stars?
In an attempt to sum up my perspective on this question in one line, I am motivated to quote two of my favorite divas, Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox (how hot is she?!), “Sisters are doing it for themselves”. I feel like that is the most important thing that this new wave of creative people bring to the table; the growing understanding that it’s not as simple as “The Male Gaze” anymore, that the new generation of porn is representative of authentic female and queer sexuality. Women, trans people got behind the camera and ventured to make porn that showed their sex, porn stars got in front of the camera and started to show the sex that they were having behind closed doors, the sex that they identified with, not just the sex that they were being directed to have. In the last few years, the tidal wave of ‘alt porn’. queer porn and female-produced porn has given us a ‘for us, by us’ genre that we and the porn-seeking world can consume and relate to. It is amazing and motivating to finally see a greater breadth of production of this kind of work and I am overwhelming grateful to be a part of it.




How does bdsm and ds dynamics fit into your life? What role does engaging in those power dynamics play?

I am a huge proponent of power play and I enjoy experimenting with those dynamics in both my professional and my personal life. There is definitely a difference between the two however and what I gain from either is different as well. For me, work is a challenge. When I am on set and tied and am being flogged, I am completely at one with myself. The range of experimentation and power play that happens in my professional life continues to be a challenge to myself; learning what I like, learning what I can take, battling with my inner demons and constraints. I love a good shoot when it pushes me and takes me to new places, either through the bondage, the impact play, the interactions with the domme… I am always working with and against myself and the inner dialogue that comes out of these experiences is almost epiphanic. In my personal life, the connection and dialogue is shared with my partner. The power play experience, the experience of pain and pushing and challenging is shared as a conversation with him. He pushes, I push back and we battle with one another. It s cerebral and embodied and intuitive and I learn as I would in any bdsm situation but as I learn about myself, I am learning about him. There is also the element of love and release in my personal play…allowing him to take me over and take me where he wants. This is true for my pro life as well but in the intimate space it is a totally giving over, complete trust…the knowledge that for those brief moments I can leave my head, lose myself in the pleasure and that he will show me the way back when I have come down from the experience, whereas in my professional life, I am always acutely aware and never not present.


What are your goals with in the adult industry? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

My goals are to continue to do projects that I feel reflect my sexuality and promote empowered female sexuality. There are still so many things I haven’t done in porn, so many people I would love to work with; some of the big name directors and actors that I admire- Belladonna, John Stagliano, Tristan Taormino, Nina Hartley. I hope to have a chance to work with all of these people before my time is up. As for ten years, I think my impact on the industry in ten years will be through my writing, my research and the work I do with community organizations and legislation. I hope to have a chance to promote other young actresses and actors that want to be in this business and I hope to see the continued progression of porn toward re-structuring the ‘mainstream’ and giving people hot, well-made sex that is authentic.


How do you define sex positive, queer and feminist pornography?

It is porn that shows the variety of different bodies and sexualities that are out there. It is porn that is made by members of the community for whom it is designed. It is porn that pushes the envelope of our limited spectrum of what constitutes hot and erotic. It is porn that shows people having sex the way they do in their personal lives. It is porn with authentic storylines that is populated by performers who feel proud of what they do and do it willingly. It is porn that makes people stop and think. It is porn that challenges the mainstream and creates an entirely new world of fantasy. It is porn that empowers rather than degrading. It is porn that is so hot you can’t wait for the sequel…


What are your favorite kinks and sexual ice creams to indulge in and let us in on why these elements of sexuality and kink are intriguing to you?
I love that term: sexual ice creams… I think I shall list mine: role playing, experimenting with sexual deviance and the kinds of sex you’re not supposed to talk about, breath play, humiliation, hardcore anal.


Who are your artistic, academic, and sexual inspirations and heros?


I think a list would be apropos here as well and since I‘m feeling it, I’ll stick to women.

Academic; bell hooks, Audacia Ray, Gloria Anzaldua, Margo St, James, Donna Haraway, Judith Butler, Julia Kristeva, Nikki Giovanni, Annie Oakley.

Sexual; Belladonna, Joanna Angel, Madison Young, Tristan Taormino, Shine Louise Houston, Lorelei Lee, Courtney Trouble, Annie Sprinkle, Nina Hartley, Carol Queen.

Artistic: PJ Harvey, Inga Muscio, Barbara Kingsolver, Susie Bright, Elizabeth Gilbert, Miranda July, Regina Spektor, Tracey Emin, Wangechi Mutu.

* this terribly short list was off the cuff…I wish I had time to go home and raid my book collection…
Who are some of your favorite performers and directors to work with and why?

I love working with directors that let me be me and allow my creativity to be a part of our projects together. I also love working with fellow performers who are really into making porn and having a good time on camera. You know who you are.


What helps you to reach the deepest connection and sexually satisfying moment with another performer?

Knowing that they are into it. There is truly nothing worse than working with someone who is only there because they are being paid or who is not into me at all. When I am able to be sexual and perform and get into it, I am able to connect with my co-star. I have had the best time with down-to-earth and genuine people who really love sex and really love what they do. When I get together with these people and we geek out on the fun and hotness of making porn, it is magic.

Do you have any upcoming workshops, videos or performances on the horizon?

I will be shooting with Madison Young for an upcoming project in September T.B.A. (yay!) and working with Courtney Trouble for one of her upcoming films. In my hometown of Toronto, I will be performing onstage at Torture Garden and at Nuit Blanche in October. Both of these stage performances will be part of a day-in-the life cinema verite-style documentary that will hopefully come out next year. I am also set to teach a stripping workshop at Good For Her in Toronto in early November.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Silky Smooth Vibrations by Madison Young


It's 10am and I'm sipping on my nice warm cup of Yerba Mate Tea and staring at the beautiful blue swirling (and vibrating) silicone goodness known as the G - Twist. I have a couple of hours until my new video editor will be over to the house to start work on my newest Madison Young Production and I really want to give this new vibe a try. So I turned my I Phone on shuffle, plugged in the speakers, popped in the batteries and were off.

This is a great toy. The first thing that really strikes me about this toy is that it is soft and flexible to the touch but it's also firm. It's a royal blue color so it seems fun but not funny like some of the vibrators that are shaped like creatures (ducks, rabbits, etc).

One of my favorite things about this toy is that it is made of this amazing silicone, easy to clean, safe and non porous material but it still allows me to use silicone based lube. Most silicone toys you can't use silicone lube with because it will bond to its self. But the G-Twist has come up with some super silicone formula that allows us silicone lovers to use our silicone lube.

I love the fact that the G- Twist is water resistant and that dust and dirt aren't clinging to the toy. Some of my silicone dildos attract hairs, dust, etc and it seems almost impossible to keep them clean. But this toy seems to actually repel dirt and fuzzies which makes me feel really safe and secure with this toy before we go all the way.

As many of you might know I'm a sensation slut. I love heavy sensation including vibration. My hitatchi is my favorite vibe and I love fucking machines and more vibration than most people can stand.

I've pretty much given up on anything having the strength of the hitatchi. But different environments call for different weaponry. I just returned from Europe with the Queer X Show and was separated from my dear hitatchi for 3 weeks. The electric currency is different in Europe and I had already blown one hitatchi on a previous trip to Europe a couple of years ago. I think the G- Twist will be my new best friend for travel. It won't get super dirty in my luggage, it cleans easy and operates on 2 AA batteries.

But does it get me off? Yes! Yes I got off twice in 15 minutes once in the family room and once in the bathroom. Dress hiked up and panties pulled down as I spread my legs on our Ikea couch. I listened to sticks against drum sets, against cymbals, squeaky voiced man/boys screaming of love lost as I was finding mine. The smooth silky texture of this vibrator felt amazing up against my labia and pressed against my clit as my legs stretched long and images of delicious climaxes of the recent past swept through my mind, as they always do before I'm about to cum. Quick fucks in the Lexington Club bathroom, cock ring tight around balls as I swallow cock whole, leaning out on the ledge of the rooftop as you fuck me in my new leather boots, salty flesh, sweet cunt, bitter cum, the taste of pleasure, as I reach climax.

The silkiness and texture of this vibrator is unlike any I have felt before. It's decadent.

I make my way to the bathroom, legs dangling in the tub as my legs spread. If I'm going to make a mess, the bathroom allows for easy clean up. The G - Twist feels really nice upon entry. I notice that I need a little more lube as the material of the vibe seems to soak it up. But it's very comfortable. Its a modest 6 inch vibrator maybe an inch and a half in diameter. This is usually much smaller than what I enjoy but this feels like a casual date and is probably perfect for penetration if you aren't a size queen or a sensation slut. I enjoyed the twists in the structure of the vibrator as I pumped in and out and the vibrator dialed on high. It felt great. My cunt clung on to the vibrator lightly kissing the silkiness of the vibe. It felt very romantic. as I made my way to my climax. This is a vibrator I trust. If this vibe were my date, it would show up clean, ready and would be on time for dinner with my parents. It's a dependable lover. These aren't the same 2 hour long multiple orgasms as what I would get with the hitatchi but it most certainly gets me off and is low maintenance and low drama which counts for a lot.

I didn't feel like the g-twist really did much for my g-spot. I feel like my g spot needs a firmer touch than what the g twist and I prefer something more solid like the N-Joy for g-spot stimulation. But the insides and outsides of my labia and clit love this vibe.

I also loved that it was ergonomic and easy to hold onto while masturbating. No hand cramps as your approaching orgasm with this toy. The dial is great for adjusting the vibe speed if you don't want your room mates to hear you or if you don't like a high vibration. It's very flexible and able to accommodate for varying needs. I'll be taking it with me in the shower tomorrow and maybe for a little anal expedition later this week.

Good luck and happy vibrations.
Madison Young

You can check out the G-Twist for yourself HERE

The Rising Phoenix - Sex, Sensuality and the lovely Satine.





Satine Phoenix is a beautiful and talented artist fetish model and adult performer living in LA. She is one of my favorite people to get hippy with in LA, swapping spirulina smoothie recipes and chatting about breath and the exchange of energy. She is a brilliant illustrator with a vibrant spirit and an unyielding sexual appetite. I'm proud to say that I was there the first time that she felt the hitatchi on her cunt and the first time that she ejaculated. I'm thrilled that she will be coming to San Francisco in a little over a week to do live erotic painting at my gallery for our bondage art salon, Art of Restraint, and the next day she will be performing in a film for Good Vibrations that I'm directing entitled, Frisk Me. This creative soul did me the great honor of allowing me to pick her brain on female empowerment in porn, bdsm, tantra, art and boundaries. Follow Satine's online 5 day slave training and sexual journey on Training of O or check out her very hot sm play session with Mistress Madeline on Whipped Ass.

Could you tell us a little bit about where you came from and how that aided in the development of the Satine Phoenix that we have all come to know and love?


Once upon a time there was a little girl named Satine who was fascinated with leather and latex in the movies and music videos she would watch on MTV. She received a pair of leather waisted black slacks at the age of 11 and this changed her life forever. From then on she would find any way possible to indulge in the more alternative and darker delicacies that fill her senses

I am fairly certain that I was born this way. People are just more inclined with one way of living or another. I had all of the opportunities to be a straight conservative upstanding citizen. I belonged to a youthgroup, got straight A's, President of my Drama Club, on Student Government, volunteered and raised money for various charities and yet I needed to learn all i could about BDSM & Fetishes. I knew when i was young that i wanted to be a Stripper. I knew that i would find a way to fulfil all of my fantasies. I KNEW that i could and that i didnt have to live in my dreams. My Dreams would become my reality. I became a demo model for Chanta Rose who guided me into this world of fetish modeling and pornography. From Sacramento to San Francisco to LA to Sydney, Australia and back again... its been quite a journey.



What is the root and origin of your name?

Satine: As in: my skin is soft as... I got it from two sources. The first is from the movie "Moulin Rouge" where Satine is the Sparkling Diamond. The second, and most true to my nature, is from a Kurt Vonnegut book "Bluebeard". Its a story of an artist and in the 70's he comes across a ficticious paint called Satine Duralux. After 18 years the paint falls off the canvas.

Phoenix: In the villages of main land china the empress' symbol would be carved on the side of the tallest mountain. (the ones I hiked in china were very tall and thin limestone mountains and I dont remember what side N,S,E,W the carving was on). The symbol is a Phoenix and as i looked over the most beautiful mist covered view I've ever seen i noticed the symbol from the corner of my eye and it occured to me right then and there. Satine Phoenix. It just felt perfect.

Could you tell us a little bit about how and why you got into the adult industry ?

Other than what i mentioned above, Its one of the many things I was born to do. The Universe naturally led me here. I would go to fetish clubs which prepared me for being comfortable as a stripper which gave me the understanding of swinger clubs which made me comfortable in being watched and performing in public. It was very gradual and I kind of just ended up doing it once i decided to do fetish modeling. fetish, bondage, solo, g/g, b/g...



Can you tell us a little bit about the art work that you create? Your live performance painting and additional works?

I express my feelings, fears, desires and life experiences through my illustrations. They're very personal to me. I've been focusing on drawing amputees and fantasy creatures lately for the beauty of it. My live performances are fun. I feed off the crowd and music around me and work fast and bold. I like to finish a 72 inch x 8ft piece in 3 hours but i'll be working much smaller on the 22nd of August (at Art of Restraint). I also sculpt and Animate. I'm working on a 3 minute fetish animation for RAO Entertainment's Fetish Documentary.


Did you go to art school or are you completely self taught?

I've been drawing since i could pick up a crayon. Took a couple of art classes pre college and ended up going to the Academy of Art College (University) for almost 5 years. I dropped out because they deleted all of my work in my 3d animation class and lost all of my illustrations in illustration class. No compensation, just Oops. Not even a sorry. I went through 3d/2d animation, stop motion animation, Sculpture, Illustration. I kind of wish I finished school but the life experiences I had were priceless and I can always go back. I'm constantly schooling myself with various books and dvds. Art is always learning.

Can you talk a little bit about the similarities between the expression of art and sex or if these two modes of expression are of a similar process for you?

Privately my art and my sex are similar in Sensuality. The women I draw are imperfect and raw yet beautiful, like sex. It doesnt appeal to me to draw people having sex, but to draw women in sexy positions. Not overly revealing, more accidently naturally revealing. I would love to make porn that reflects the same emotions and beauty of what I draw.




What are your favorite types of scenes to shoot?

My tastes change day to day, year to year. Right now i'm in romantic threesome/orgy mode where everyone is having a great time and no one is being really porno. My Girlfriend, Nica Noelle has been writing and Directing some amazing scenes for Sweetheart and Sweet Sinner Video. Pretty much anything she puts me in is what I'm into right now.


What is the intrigue of fetish and bdsm for you personally and what are your feelings on commercial bdsm retaining the authenticity and respect to our leather culture and community?

Oh dear... As a sensualist I love the smell and feel and look of things like latex, fur, leather, metal, food etc. I truly enjoy the tactile sensations, they seem to highten my pleasure sensors. The S/M dance is amazing to me as well. I'm a Switch so giving or receiving these sensations is pretty fantastic. It is the journey of experiencing and appreciating the existence of these pleasurable things that keep me wanting more.

What you see on video vs what I do in my private time is completely different. That's not to say I dont enjoy what I do on film, but you dont get to see the real emotion. I'm not frightened for my life. I'm experiencing every single sensation. the heat of the dom's breath on me, the inflection of voice, the wind from the flogger as it approaches my skin... everything. If I were to make a bondage site you would see the thrill from every party. But that is not what we sell when we make bondage porn. we sell the fantasy of the hi protocol hi edicate, or dark danky dungeon, or hard to please Mistress... Unfortunately while we're making porn for people to whack off to others are watching and using it as a learning tool and are missing out on all of the things that have been edited out. The audience doesn't realize that maybe "red" had been called a number of times but that had been edited out. That it took 20 minutes to tie a girl to the ceiling and that this specific girl only has about 10 minutes left in her to do this shoot though it looks like she's been up for hours . The intimacy and care has been edited out and people think that the girl is supposed to just want you to beat the living day lights out of her and walk away. Aside from the physical damage, what about the psychological? Performers have trained themselves to act in a certain way when told. I know that in my personal life I need a lot of after care but when I'm shooting on film I dont require as much. In real life I dont go into subspace with just anyone. I need to be brought there. On video, you touch me with rope or pull my hair and I'm in subspace immediately because I know how long each scene is, I know what is going to happen to me during the scene (mostly) and how many scenes I have to do. It takes a lot of energy on film. I drink 5-10 red bulls in a work day on an S&M shoot.
I know this is a lengthy responce, i just really want to show everyone that video S&M is much different than personal S&M. The only problem is when people try to do what we do on video in real life with no experience someone ends up getting hurt. I think i'm going to get "dont try this at home" as my next tattoo.



Could you tell us about your integration of tantra into your sexual and bdsm life?

Tantra is Existing and really feeling (or Groking) moment to moment. You can use it in sex or s&m or in every day life as you're walking or sitting or just breathing. It is turning all of your senses on at the same time and really feeling it. Smelling and really seeing and really feeling and REALLY listening. Being Present in the moment without distraction or faltering. Its as simple as looking someone in their eyes into their soul or kissing slowly not just to feel good but to feel each curve of the other person's sweet lips while smelling their skin and running your fingers through their hair. S&M is one of the most naturaly Tantric activity i've ever done. Regulating your breathing to process moment to moment. even canceling out one sensation to heighten another sensation. Communicating at such high fidelity that each person can feel the other's energy because that is what it is Sex/ Tantra/ BDSM... its all energy exchange. Tantra teaches you how to recognize that energy and harness it to take your pleasure sensors to new heights.

Is tantra also something that you integrate into your scenes or is that something that is set aside only for your personal sex life?

My tantra dial can be turned all the way on or I can turn it way down and just look into the person's eyes. I give as much as the other person is willing to exchange in the mutual tantra while at the same time I'm practicing solo tantra and moving the energy from the scene around my own body. The being in love energy I send to my boyfriend is different than the appreciation love energy I send to the other talent.

How do you set boundaries of what you are comfortable sharing with the world sexually and what you feel like you should keep only for you and your lover/s?

I have one Primary Male lover and occasionally I have other female lovers. He is the only person I have Anal Sex with. It is sacred to me and I only do it on my terms. I feel it is important to save something for him. Its hard enough knowing your girlfriend has sex with other men. He gets my heart and my ass :) . I've shared so many things with the world good and bad and ridiculous and beautiful. I am true to who I am at the time in each scene. I dont regret things I've shared in the past, though many I wouldnt do again. That is how I find boundaries because I dont know what I'm not going to like until I do it really, unless I'm just not interested.

What are some of your upcoming adult related and artistic projects that are on the horizon?

I'm still shooting a couple times a month but I am moving more towards comics. One about my life as a stripper, I'm working on a series of fantasy creatures in bondage. I've got two other books that arent adult related that I'm working on. Hopefully they'll be a good foot in the door in the comic world. I havent read anything like what I'm writing. So, we'll see how that goes.

Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?

I dont plan that far ahead. I go where the universe tells me to go at the time. I thought i'd be doing porn forever... things are starting to take me in different directions, but that's life. being able to feel the ebb and flow of it all and maneuvering appropriately without drastic impact.

How does working in the adult industry as a woman empower you sexually and politically?

Working in the Adult industry for as long as I have I've been empowered as a human. I now know what I am capable of, what we are all capable of Physically & Emotionally. Sexually I am more confident and love to share my knowledge with others. I'm not sure how much power I have politically, but I do have a different outlook on life and how people live now. Its not that i feel all of this has empowered me, but its given me the experience and knowledge and and understanding of this side of the social psychology of people that I will hopefully be able to use in my future endeavors.

We are all equal. We are all just people living on this earth. No one is better than another. Some have more experience, some have more luck. But in the end we all come to the same conclusion. Its what you do with your time that is most important.

"You get what anyone gets, You get a lifetime" - Didi from "Death the High Cost of Living" by Neil Gaiman.